Mission trip

This is a lagging response on the part of my heart about the last week's trip. It seems to me that my heart always need time to catch up to what happens in my physical realm. I decided against back-dating for reasons that will be included below.


Last week I joined the BCM group for a mission trip in a not-so remote settlement. There we shared in fellowship but most of all minister to the church that meets in that settlement. It had been a long time since my last missions trip and I was excited to go for this one. Missions usually excite me - i'm not sure if its because of the travelling and the other culture prospect or was it really that I was excited to reach a people group for God? An unsolved issue within my heart.


And although I testified 3 times about the trip within the community of the youth in my church, I still felt something that was unrealised to me swimming at the back of my heart. Today I heard a caucasion speaker preaching in Mandarin. I was awed by their lives' commitment in order to reach a people group. What is our life that we should treasure it so much, and continue to add onto it, or fight for it? What do we have that is not already His? All we possess is this life we're living.


I realised that even though I was rather stressed about preaching in another language, I was more excited at the opportunity that has been given me to give in this manner, to be used by God to reach His people. God uses anyone who is willing to speak to His own. And it's been an honour that I had a chance to do that. I guess in ministry, we tend to forget that it is always not about us but about God wanting to reach His people. I had forgotten that for a while. Held very tightly to what I did know. But it took me quite a while, after the buzz has died down for everyone else, for me to finally grasp something in my heart. Lag.

Camp paving a new era

Or at least I'm praying it would.























There's something very precious about Aspirers camps that I can't escape. It draws me and motivates me. Before every camp I feel stressed and weary and worried. But there is that one moment in camp that reminds me that it is all worth it. It's usually the same moment (one I thought I'd become numb to after so many years, but did not - thank God):

I remember that Larissa was leading the song "Forever reign" on the second night and challenging everyone to cling on to this God who never fails. And I lifted my hands to proclaim over and over again "my heart will sing, no other name (but) Jesus!" and I meant it with every breath. Then instinctively I turned around to look (I almost always stand near the front). And I saw.

I saw many hands lifted high and words of declaration that 'their heart would sing no other name'. I saw knees bent and heads bowed in adoration and desperation. I saw tears flowing on faces who have long lost that conviction. I saw those who did not know our God sobbing. I saw the young ones, with eyebrows creased in determination and hands raised in worship. I heard the hearts of the young declaring and clinging on to their God. Yes, their God. I heard prayers uttered from simple and trusting hearts. I felt the pain of many being poured out like water and there was healing. I saw heaven open and angels sing.

And I fell on my knees and cried to my God. Because this is what I prayed for, worked for, argued for, and boldly declared. My heart thanked Him for showing me some results, some fruits. I know that I know that God is working and it is solely God who can make that change. I'm only an instrument. But God oh God is so amazing! Every testimony I've heard since then was about how they themselves heard from God or how God had worked in them! It was all about how God is so amazing. And my heart praise Him! It didn't matter of no one remembered the games or all the other background planning - it MATTERED that they remembered their vows to God when God came down.

And on a personal note, this year I saw the older ones rise up. We've been (well i have) complaining, nagging, persuading, encouraging the college group to rise up and take the responsibility and all that. We've been (well again i have) lecturing the leaders to please please please ... well I'll leave the rest unsaid. And it had been a thorn in my flesh and many tears shed before the Lord, that I felt more alone than ever in ministry. But the turn of the year and of events, brought about positive change in everyone. And even though Derrick is leaving, now, I see what God has been doing. My fear dissolved when I saw that God was preparing their hearts and spirit. Derrick, leave in peace then. :)

This is the beginning of a new era... you wait and see...

p/s: pictures are on FB.

Making a shift...

Making a shift to HTC - a whole new world of difference in doing things. Quietly brilliant. Seriously.

Just as I was exploring the possibilities and getting used to the idea of getting something. It was thrown in my lap. *plock* And I looked at God with my sepet eyes. "You always know, Lord." *smiles secretly*

It also pays to have family in the right line. Hmm...
And again, no, my parents are not adopting you so that you can get the same privileges. *sweats*

Now I need to get use to it so that it is actually useful to me, and make sure I don't drop it at all!

Trip to Camerons

It was something I had to do, as daunting as it had at first sound to me. But that's me. I'm usually afraid to leave the shore to reach the edge of the waters that I want to go. As ironic as that may sound to you. But every time I find an anchor I know I can depend on, I will go. Cos the edge of the water promises a beautiful horizon that I want to see and be a part of.

So this something that I had to do turned into a roadtrip to eat and get away from reality. I was excited. I couldn't believe it. And so in the midst of 'working', we had our own holiday.

With Jotay eating and sleeping almost all the way, (which did give a certain serenity on the road) I had some time to think and absorb the scenery. I usually have a lot swimming in my mind and heart. Most of the time I simply wonder when the hecticness had so much control over me. Have you ever notice how our lives have became a list of 'to dos'. And you cannot seem to break out of the system anymore. Many of those times we're just doing things we have to do. And all meanings slowly becomes lost. No wonder I'm not moving along in my life? Have I become stuck?

But this time I wasn't really thinking of all the things I had to do. (I couldn't even if I wanted to) With the GPS telling us where to go and Der driving and Jotay keeping tab of the bill, I only had my agenda at hand. I stared out at the jungle on the left side of the car and felt the breeze on my face, and felt happy. A kind of peace and happiness I've not felt in a long while. And it felt SO good! And then I wondered where it had been all this while. Is it so hard to feel happy? Is happy such a fleeting feeling these days? (note: it's not that I'm not happy with my life. In fact I find more fulfilment in doing what I do than I have anywhere else. It is my honour and pleasure to serve GOd this way. Sure there will always be unsatisfaction here and there. But in this side of heaven, surely! Yet it is my heart that feels heavy from so many a burden and pain. That I don't know how to enjoy much anymore or simply feel happy and not worry or try so hard to be...)

So I thank the people who were willing to indulge me and make me happy. I thank God for such people in my life and I thank God for always knowing and always giving that little that I need to go on. I know that you're amazing and that this is who You are and who You will always be. I know that You will always love me like that and care for me like that. I want to learnt to always trust You like that. Knowing that You hold everything in the palm of Your hands and that all resources comes from You - no matter what form it comes from or from who. Teach me to let go and allow myself enjoy.

Have you ever notice how the clouds rush into itself and roll over the horizon? Have you ever notice the layers of colours in a sunset? Have your heart ever stop short from looking at a sight because it was too beautiful for words? =)

Hope and meaning

I've heard about him some time back and even used it to motivate the youth. But it never fails to inspire me again. So watch the video below and be inspired!

So many times we focused our attention on our own needs and wants and lack and it really does make us more miserable. When we start to look within ourselves, what really did we expect to find? Something extraordinary? But when we begin to look out and beyond, and really hang our hearts on our sleeves, we find extraordinary meaning in the things we can do.

How long can I moan for an iphone or blackberry when there are many who do not even have telephone connected to their homes or that they do not have anyone who'd want to look for them to begin with. We must go, we must see, we must give, we must share, we must care. Then regardless of what I don't have, or what's been wronged me, or what issues I might have... it pales by comparison.

I've got to remember, as I remember my God-given dream, that it's not about how much I can withstand or bear. It has always been about Him.

Yes, it's my birthday yesterday

Yes it's another year. This time I'm not that excited. After all, my age is beginning to stare me in the face and scoff! And it's not that I feel old - I feel exactly the same - but the realization, I guess, is what gets to you. Hmm..

I woke up in the morning not know what to expect or even hope for. Not hoping for anything won't set me up for disappointment right? So that's what I decided to do. Woke up early enough, amazingly, and decided to take off early too. I was greeted by a beautiful sight - the sky was dotted by fluffy clouds that decorated the sky all the way to work. =) This may mean nothing to you, but it was a beautiful greeting by its Creator! I serve an awesome God!

Easter Musical 2010: Bow the Knee

While the town of Seremban was covered with buntings on the road and flyers in people's mailbox, the talk on many's tongue was Agape's Musical - and I'm not trying to boast. It was that time again when we put on a Musical for anyone and all to see. And we always give our best. This was where my interest in theatre began.

So for 3 nights, volunteers arrive as early as 2pm for mic test and all kinds and test; 4 pm for make up and dress up; 6pm dinner and prayer and more prep! By 7.30 the choir neatly hides themselve behind the screen, awaiting showtime at 8.15pm as guest starts to roll on. And as we've warn our friends, come early. Seriously. On Saturday night, we had an overflow and even had to turn people away at the age as there was absolutely no more space. My feet hurts from standing the entire time, all 3 days.

I'll leave the reviewing to our guest on their facebooks, albums, blogs. Here's a few pics for the file. My pics were mostly on volunteers and not much on stage.



I'm not in the mood nor have the resources to compile an extensive archive of the Musical. Many have already done so. But I thank God for the high level of voluntarism and willingness in Agape that made this possible. I mean nobody was paid for this and we charge nothing. In fact, we invested more than we got back. But that's how the Kingdom of God works, and I pray that each and everyone of us will realise that it's more than just a big show we can shout about. I pray that seeds have been planted and God will continue to work in their lives. Continue to use us - that we slack not. Not now...

I know real results for an event like this is rather hard to measure or seen. Sometimes we even wonder why we do what we do. But we gotta believe that it is not us but God who will work in their lives. It may be a return call, it may be a seed, it may be the first impression to a church, it can be even years before they finally give their life over. But God does work and will. His word will not go forth void.

More photos of the extensive preparation, volunteers, and effort to put the Musical together here. Seriously, take a look. If you have never been to one of our Musicals. One day, you have to make it a point. And bring a friend.

Flowers by the roadside

You know how you drive along the same road seeing the same sights every single day. And after a while, you tune out to not have to deal with the monotony. Perhaps like me, once in a while, you take a different route home. Just to change the scenery. But how many routes home are there?

Do we tend to take for granted when monotony sets in? Do you accept the drone or do you do something to change it? I can take monotony better than most people. I don't actually get bored if I had to eat the same food over and over again. Not really anyway. But at the same time, I can't stand monotony and drone. It's weird I know. I'm torn between two kinds of personality.

But perhaps it's the little things along the way that breaks the monotony or makes it worthwhile. Like a simple word of 'thanks', or 'you made a difference in my life', or spring colored flowers in the middle of a dreary road (which you had never noticed before), or a long-overdue dinner with those closest to your heart. God is so good. I think we all need it.


What's yours? I hope you have yours.

Aspirers Camp 2010

Aspirers Camp 2010: Let It Shine

26-28th February 2010
Golden Straits Villa, P.D.
Ps. Gideon Lee

A trip down memory lane...
It feels like a million lightyears away yet fresh in my mind the first aspirers camp I ever coordinated. Of course, then, we called in aspirers retreat. Back then also, I almost killed myself executing the camp. I remember it was in Peace Haven, Genting. And I remember getting sunburns and a migraine. I had every detail of the camp on my fingertips and I drove myself to give more than all. The camps that followed wasn't all that different. I was young and I thought I was superwomen.

Passing it on...
For some years now, we've been appointing younger and younger committees to take up the responsibility and ownership of camp. We believe in training the younger generation and empowering them with positions. Of course, there were many moments of disappointments for me. Sometimes I wondered if it's because my standards were high but then again what challenge could there possibly be if the standards were not high? But as the older members start to disappear, raising the younger ones got more urgent.

The difference this time...
This time I was starting to feel my age catch up. I'm serious. And it's not funny. I need to find a way to keep my energy up cos youth ministry will always require that. And fore seeing more people leaving, I knew it was now or never. They had to rise up! I was more frustrated than ever. Oh God, I prayed, plant a sense of ownership in their heart and a burden for this ministry! There was no other way.

And I think that did it. I think they sensed it too. During the final stretched pre camp and during the camp, I saw the leaders and committee begin to pull their weight. Without much complain or whining. They were growing up. I knew it was time to let go and just trust them. And so I did. And as I was told, they would amaze me. Although I did breakdown into tears thinking too ahead of myself and fearing the inevitable, yes the inevitable, fearing I won't have the strength I need, fearing it won't work out cos of my failure to raise the younger generation.


And then God spoke...
Have you ever had moments in your life that you absolutely need (want) to hear something from God? It was that for me. I've felt that He's been too silent about a lot of things that I was beginning to loose my way. I needed to know. So when Ps. Gideon gave me the word from God and it totally hit home, I could not take it anymore. There was no way he could have known what I've been talking to God about. (I'm of course not about to tell you ;) what it's about) But I'm still trying to digest some of it and trying to hang on to His promises.

It gave me some assurance and peace about areas in my life. And it reminded me again how much God loves me though I cannot imagine why. And it was oh so important to me knowing that He saw me and knows me and was there when I thought He'd forgotten me. That was me. This isn't going to be just another mountain experience. I'll keep it close to my heart and I'll carry on for as long as He needs me to. I will be strong and brave and won't turn back.

What about you?

Psalm 94:18-19

When I said, "My foot is slipping,"
your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94:18-19

Repeat that again. Yea and again and again.

God, even when I forget you and attempt to do life in my own strength, when I fall... it is YOU, O Lord, who is upholding me with your right hand. You won't let me fall apart. When my mind is clouded by anxiety and my heart crowded with worry... it is You who give me strength, ideas, wisdom, and everything else.... holding me together in one piece. I look to You and recognize that it is You, O Lord - my Salvation.

Small Smiles

It was one of those nights... days when you feel like you've hit a wall in your life. A whole lump was welling up in my throat heart and I wanted to burst into tears break down or something. I couldn't tell exactly what it was that was pushing me to the edge or causing an emotional upheaval. But then again it isn't new for me. But it was one of those days...

And I had just about to throw something and hope it breaks. Or maybe find an empty hall to yell. Or something. And there was noone to reach out too...

And then driving back, I saw a huge yellow moon bursting out from the sky. It was really really huge. I like moons to begin with. A huge 3/4 moon starring out of the sky was abnormal and absolutely wonderful. You might think I'm crazy but it made my day. I stopped my car a couple of times in the middle of the street, hope no car bangs me, stretched out my arm to take pictures.

This is a bad picture. But can you see the yellow spot that does not look like a street lamp?



But it's funny that at a time like this. It was like a little bone God is throwing at me to keep me happy. It's the small things. That actually did it for me. God you're so cute!

We gotta keep singing after all...

Reflections of a New Year

Looking back at 2009, one begins to think of all that has happened - the good, the bad and the ugly. One also recollects the good times which made one whole and the bad ones which puts iron to one's soul. One realizes that there can be no good times without the bad, nor can there be joy without sorrow. It is in those dark moments in which one will learn the most and grow the most. So one must always sit to remember those lessons to keep them close and to walk another step further in life, knowing it was a lesson well learned.

So what has happened this year?
It was a year I was most afraid of. From the time the clock hit twelve at midnite signaling the turn of a new year and happy voices shouting 'Happy New Year', I felt fear hit my soul. God sent a friend to hold me that very moment to let me know there's a place I can always hang on and that it will be alright. But the fear that grip my soul only grew in the months to come. Perhaps it was thinking about it that made it worst. I walked through a valley of dry bone. I remembered the dark lonely tunnel I had once seen. My spirit felt far away, refusing to look the right way. I found it hard to accept or to allow God to comfort me. Some pains are so dear you don't want God to tell you it'll be okay. I've not fully recovered from it. I'm quite stubborn with a hint of self pity. And I found it hard to lead when I myself was in that position. I saw with much pain at the youths going through sucky times and wish I was a better leader - better friend, better sister, better role model. And it seems I just can't seem to be good enough all the time. On top of that, with all the weddings and pregnancy around me, I felt even more sorry for myself. I realise now that I have no reason to apologize for being single.

What then have I learned?

• I learn to read my Bible everyday - the consequences of not reading is RM10 each time, a pact with a friend. And I have skipped 4-5 times in half a year. A hefty price.
• I learn to give more - it is more blessed to give than to receive. God is my provider and I am His channel of blessing. I no longer knew what I was saving for so I learned to trust God with my future and bless those around me here and now.
• I learn that God is Sovereign in my everyday and holds everything securely in His palm - nothing surprises Him and nothing is out of His control or provision. My future is safe with Him and even though it may not be exactly what I plan or hope for, His ways are always better. and His purposes and good for those who love Him. I feel safe.
  
• I learn that my life and my will is not my own - I gave it away a long time ago. It is His to do as He pleases. No more complaining. My 'rights' may not be won, my 'wants' may not be heard, people will always irritated and fail in my expectations, tomorrow may not be smooth sailing. My life is His. And I will try a little harder and love a little more, push a little further and stay a little longer - because this is not my own. I'm working for a greater Kingdom, bigger purposes.
• I learn to be a little more independent and a little more friendly - I need to after all. There are ways to survive despite my insecurities and lack of boldness and horrible sense of direction. And there will always be people who need a friendly smile or handshake - they need it more than I need my comfort. I learn to be gracious to people as everyone has their stories and everyone has their problems. As much as we make excuses for ourselves for our weaknesses and slack, others are too. So show a little grace as the Lord has shown us much.
  
• I learn to appreciate the bad times, the God-feels-far-away times, the dry periods, the painful ones - they put iron into my soul and mold me for something greater than myself. It is not that I am cursed or that God has forgotten me but that He love me enough to allow these things to grow me. I know He is never too far away. And I tell others the same as well.
  

So what do I resolute for 2010?
I look forward to a better year. I for see a change and a challenge - it's exciting and scary at the same time. The season is changing and the flowers are starting to bloom. I need to be a better person most of all - to be able to do it all (for some insane reason). So..

• I want to pray more. Pray more for people as there are a lot of problems in the world and a lot of people that needs God to intervene into their life and situation. So I need to read the Bible and pray better and seriously. I want to hear God more and follow Him more closely.
  
• I want to exercise more. I'm getting older and the body is not what it used to be anymore.
  
• I want to read more. There's just too many books in the world to read that if I were to read a book day, I would not finish it all. I like reading. (not textbooks) Why should it be taken from me just because i'm busy. Remember the principle of fill and drain. Plan those holidays too. (wayne cordeiro)
  
• I want to shop more and enjoy life a little more. What's the point of hoarding? What's the point of waiting? There's much to see and learn in the world around me.
  
• I want to bridge with parents of youths, the pre-teens and my own peers more. I cannot always only be so focus to care only for one age group. I need to expand my social skills and social life too.
  
• I want to visit my grandma more. She is getting very old and probably rather lonely.
  
• I want to be a more effective leader to my youth leaders. They need my support and encouragement to rise up. I cannot treat them the way I've been treated. Pampering them does not equal supporting them. And I cannot be afraid to correct them for their good.
  
• I want to move on to the next phase of life. But this only God can help me. I will learn to trust His timing and leading. Even if He chooses to continue to keep silent.
  

I had imagined all my life that I would probably marry at the late age of 28. And the closer you get to a marker like that the more you tend to panic. But I refuse to be desperate or panic. So I need to overcome this year with grace and love for every new day.

Bring it on, 2010! I'm ready for you!

I read my resolutions last year and realise it's still in my bones. I am getting there and will continue to persevere in the same direction. I still want the same things and have seen some improvement in my life. And I am happy =)

APYAC09

I know I was rather exhausted and did not want to go to yet another conference, much less herding sheeps left and right along the way. I already imagined the whole shuttling business and I felt stressed. I feel like sighing. (but I'm suppose to stop sighing)

Asia Pacific Youth Alive Conference (10-12 Dec) @ GTPJ
"Speak to the Nations"

But standing amidst so many people and worshiping one God is a most exhilarating experience. The songs that were sang were so simple and heartfelt. I felt so refreshed simply declaring all over again my commitment and love for my God. Despite myself, I was refreshed and renewed in His awesome presence. Times like these are so rare and few in between. It's not right. We should experience Him on a more regular basis, to know that He walks with us and talks with us. A reality most of us miss. I miss in my busy-ness.

But what is it about big conferences / rallies like this that I like after so many years? What is it about this particular one that intrigued me? Well, it is absolutely amazing to hear the voices of so many young people just worshiping ONE God, with hands lifted high and tears rolling down their faces. We may be from different churches, different races, different background but we stand together, under one roof, united under one God. Boundaries just fall down and you understand what God had intended when He built the church - this community living that most of us no longer want. And here where 29 nations gathered together, it becomes more real. I loved to hear what God is doing in all these countries. God has not given up on us! His spirit is being poured out on nations on this side of the world. To see young people from different nations rise up and saying we want Jesus in our country brings a sense of hope and Sovereignty of Christ rule! There are those suffering for the sake of the gospel, but standing before us saying they will press on till every knee bow at the name! Come on, youths in Malaysia! Don't give up yet.

Two themes ran throughout the conference: 1) stay in the country of your birth. don't run away. we have a destiny here. 2) God wants to speak to us and He is, but are we listening? (at least to me that was it).

The group that went for APYAC
Thanks to the older ones who really helped look out for the rest.
Thank you for also being so obedient and responsible most of the time.

Semenyih Outreach

Macam ada gaya saje!~

Last Sunday, the Campus Connexion group of Aspirers went to our Semenyih outreach to minister. It was a first for this group to minister in that way. I thought it would be a very good experience to do this together. On top of that, it was important to learn to be an instrument of blessing to others. May this be a first of many.

Chronicles of HK: Preparations

It's one day to my trip. I had decided last year that I should take one trip each year, out of the country (as on my own as possible) to get away from everything. I almost didn't have one this year but finally pulled it off with some persuasion. So here I am.. almost immediately after GLS making all kinds of plans that normally should have been done 2 weeks before hand.


Checklist:

• pack warm clothings - checked
• change money - checked
• inform card - checked
• something for Eiz - checked
• work delegated - checked
• ticket and passport - checked
• directions, plans and map - itinerary from hazel
  
• camera from lynne - checked

Thank you Lord for this trip. I may not feel it now but I'm sure I need this. I want to learn to be grateful beforehand =)


Next: Shopping and Life

Church Camp 2009

Church Camp 2009:
Knowing God and Making Him Known
August 23-26, 2009
Genting View Resort
Rev. Ronnie Chin

I was trying to be excited and to infuse enthusiasm for this camp. We had prayer and fasting for a week before the camp (which I hope would prepare our spirits to receive from God) but some how I could not feel excited. I was exhausted and disappointed. I could not feel the enthusiasm I was trying to portray. I felt like a hypocrite.

But I've always been bound to my sense of responsibilities and was determined to see the entire thing through. I had begun to feel stressed over the enormous amount of work to be done and the standard that I had initially felt I had to live up to. I had to give my best, and yet my heart was always more for people and ministry than the details of organizing. I would rather forgo getting things perfectly in place if there was someone who needed that time in the world. I had always seen need over want, tears over comfort. I decided it was time to get back to the basics, to rock the boats of complacency. (yes, I decided. LOL)


(awaiting more pics) Note: pics were copied from various Facebook albums

I want to thank God, though, that I was able to take the entire thing in stride - organizing the camp, ministering to the youth, finishing my assignment, and finding time to refresh myself in God, on top of celebrating Ann's birthday. It sounds insane even as I think about it now. However, I know that it was by God's grace that I felt un-tension and un-panicky and un-stressed. Now that's the miracle. Though I was tired, I was OK. He lifted me in His wings and I was okay. In fact, I had enough strength and heart to minister, counsel, stay awake.

The very first night God had met me and given me 'just enough strength to live for today', as the song goes. Sometimes when we are looking for a way out, God says I'll give you grace to hang on. Sometimes when you want an answer for something, God says you don't need to know but trust me. It's infuriating but God is looking for faith. And then I stood up and said 'it is well with my soul'. And then I turn around and begin to be His vessel.

On another note. My crazy bunch of youth. They may be noisy and many other things, but I'm blinded to those other things. =) They are the first at the altar. They step up to pray for others. They are excited. They are willing to be transparent with God. They obey. They are easier than adults. LOL!!! (oops..)

Justin, say it again! Aspirers rocks! Pictures

Tony Romas

Another strike of my list. Now I can say I've been to Tony Romas. I've heard both extremes of reviews of this place but I liked the place. It met my expectation. Will I come back? Maybe but obviously not too often. Less than seldom too.
Good food, nice ambiance, awesome company. What more can one ask for? It's the epitome of a good night out.I was taught a Chinese saying: "sam seong si seng". The English equivalent of it would probably be "wishes come true" but it doesn't resonate the same. Basically, my translation is that God indulges us sometimes, to remind us that he loves us. It's the small things. When your loved ones fulfill your little desires, they really know you. But don't forget God behind the scene.

To my friends, you are precious.

To God, you're the ONLY one for me.

Gunung Dato

So the day finally arrived - the day i sworn will never come. But as they say, love makes you do crazy things. Or a great sense of responsibility. Take your pick.

The path up was not easy. There was no dedicated path per se. Half the time you wonder if you're lost. Roots and rocks, logs and holes. (see picture) If anything, this will test your stamina. Thank God my group were having as much trouble as I was. If not for an over optimistic pretense (if you want to call that), I may not have made it. It was certainly a lesson for myself, in terms of encouragement. Even though we knew that it wasn't another 5 minutes away but the old trick of "just around the bend" actually worked. Food for thought huh? We are more able than we ever thought we could be, and encouragement fuels it.

I was told there are a lot of fauna to look at, but when you're huffing and puffing and everything's a blur, you really don't see anything else save the next step ahead. But I did chance upon a few things along the way. They say along life's journey, we must learn to stop and smell the flowers. Or in this case, see the queerness and creativity of God's handiwork.

The final stretch to the peak was the most challenging for me. There are three (3) batches of vertical ladder all the way to the top - each with its own sets of challenges. For me the vertical climb had me hanging for dear life and feeling ever closer to my Maker. Choking back tears and telling my muscles to relax was as hard as .. well it was just hard lah. Thank God for encouraging people around me who told me where to put each of my limbs next.

But it was something I had to do. It wasn't just because everyone was encouraging me to climb. But when would be the next time I ever climb this mountain? I don't see it happening in the near future. So I just had to. Sometimes you just gotta. Experience is the best teacher, they say. Was it worth it? Oh yea baby! It was exhilirating to know you made it. The scenery did not capture my heart but seeing the bunch of youth and their crazy antics up there did. Aaww...

I made it. We made it.

Vaio Vive

Have you ever eyed something and knew in the depths of your heart that you wanted it? Some of us would just go for it. Some others, like myself, would hesitate, more often than not, and partially believe it's not ours for the taking (in some twisted sense). Well, I don't often see something I really want. And even less often reward myself with it. No, I don't understand myself either.

I wanted a Vaio CS. A blood-red Vaio. [Refer] But it comes with the higher end model. So I settled for Pearl White. The same colour as James, my MyVi. I wanted as much memory capacity as possible too - 4Gb. But the lower end model has only 2Gb. We gotta live with what we can get rite?

So my dear friends, who do not think I can do this on my own, came with me. They won't even let me drive my own car up, loan me a lot of cash so I have no other excuse, bargained and checked with the shops cause I won't dare to, embarassed me with all the questions they asked regarding the Vaio, even carried it after. I'm glad they did. Was literally my driving force to get the Vaio I had only said I wanted but still delayed to getting it. I felt like I was dragged up and had the laptop shoved into my hands. Thank God for irritating friends like that. That's testimony#1.

Here's testimony#2. They actually ran out of the white I wanted. I felt like merajuk-ing to Lav like a spoilt child cos I did not want to settle for any of the other two colours. I regret I didn't trust that God would give me the best that I wanted. I was upset (over a colour. How childish!). But at the very next shop, that Der insist on checking out, their branch had JUST called about an available final stock white one! Hallelujah! On top of that they were upgrading it to 4GB for absolutely FREE! (I asked him thrice if he was sure). I almost couldn't believe my blessing.

So I got:
A white Sony Vaio CS
with free upgrade to 4gb
and free laptop bagpack
and free bluetooth laser mouse

In that split moment I felt like hugging God, mentally. (I didn't actually feel the actual excitement till the day after - delayed reactions) I didn't even pray about it or for it. And I hadn't been as devoted as I wished I was yet He saw the desires of my heart and He granted it. There was no condition clause! It was like God saying "Nah, for you. Be happy. Know that I see your heart's desires. Now and always." ETC onced said God knows you're gonna use it for ministry so why won't he give if you only ask. Why not ask? I sincerely do not know. But even so. He blows my mind.

So here is she..... Yes its a 'she'. Because it looks like a girl lah.
Introducing,
Vaio Vive


Note: I'm taking my own sweet time to migrate over. I need to borrow all kinds of installers, please.

Aspirers Camp 2009: Testimonials

Testimonies







-Ale

Overall, I felt camp was G-R-E-A-T! And I felt so much more blessed cause this year instead of being at the altar going me, me, me, me. I went to the altar going, Them, them, them, them. It was the first time I never stood up front to be prayed for -Lynne

What I am trying to point out here is that God use many ways to touched our lifes...I was so longing to be blessed by God and I didn't feel it until I went up to pray for these younger ones... Hearing them speaking in tongues were really a fulfillment in my life...The satisfaction and joy u gained is much more than you expect...I was simply touched by it so much...See,God touched His people with different ways... -Jian

The one thing about Aspirers retreat is that you sort of leave everything behind, all your worries and troubles are suddenly lifted from you, and you find rest in God. I could see everyone there felt free and peaceful. It was a great experience. There was crying, there was shouting... it was all a cry to the Lord. Some were so deeply burdened that when God touched them, they instantly released all their sadness. -Warren

many were touched..His presence was so strong...You could just see Him pass by..I thank you God for being so real to me...for listening to all my crys..and understanding..besides that ps julie khoo was the bomb man..her sermons were like musicals..lol..she loves to sing...wheee.!! - Larissa

Ppl... Wat i wan to say now is God wil never forsake you no matter wat... Just dun turn away from God when something bad happen to u o when u feel dry.... Dun ever run away.. Juz pray nd talk to him.. And trust me...God wil touch you in a very special way... -Qing

Anyone care to add? Let's give Him the glory