Mission trip

This is a lagging response on the part of my heart about the last week's trip. It seems to me that my heart always need time to catch up to what happens in my physical realm. I decided against back-dating for reasons that will be included below.


Last week I joined the BCM group for a mission trip in a not-so remote settlement. There we shared in fellowship but most of all minister to the church that meets in that settlement. It had been a long time since my last missions trip and I was excited to go for this one. Missions usually excite me - i'm not sure if its because of the travelling and the other culture prospect or was it really that I was excited to reach a people group for God? An unsolved issue within my heart.


And although I testified 3 times about the trip within the community of the youth in my church, I still felt something that was unrealised to me swimming at the back of my heart. Today I heard a caucasion speaker preaching in Mandarin. I was awed by their lives' commitment in order to reach a people group. What is our life that we should treasure it so much, and continue to add onto it, or fight for it? What do we have that is not already His? All we possess is this life we're living.


I realised that even though I was rather stressed about preaching in another language, I was more excited at the opportunity that has been given me to give in this manner, to be used by God to reach His people. God uses anyone who is willing to speak to His own. And it's been an honour that I had a chance to do that. I guess in ministry, we tend to forget that it is always not about us but about God wanting to reach His people. I had forgotten that for a while. Held very tightly to what I did know. But it took me quite a while, after the buzz has died down for everyone else, for me to finally grasp something in my heart. Lag.

a few things i must archive

I've not been blogging much in the last two months. And I feel guilty for not archiving some important events in my life. Go figure. So to ease my conscience and to ensure that certain things are not forgotten.... I shall briefly mention them.

p/s: this was of course not blogged at the time and date displayed. I was at that time elsewhere.

• GLS 2010 which was held in Metrotab on the 22-23rd Nov was a little too tiring for me this time
  
• VBA followed soon after on the 29-30th Nov but I wasn't involved
• Instead I was rushing my asgn and almost thought I couldn't make it. I surprised myself when I did.
• December brought a lot of events starting with the first ever Birds and Bees Workshop on the 4th of Dec which proved useful and needful.
  
• After a lot of shopping buzz with the post SPM-ers,
  
• There was aspirers christmas party where fourletterstory wowed the crowd on the 19th of Dec
• After that it was full out packing and moving with the family
• Christmas rolled along with another bout of shopping and presents
• Attending 3 weddings in the month (2 of which were family) allowed time for pampering and dressing up!
  
• Forgiving myself for neglecting a lot of stuff, it was back to the craze of packing
• Running away on the 29-30th dec for a short but absolutely refreshing leaders retreat with the youth did a lot of good for me and for the team.
  
• and as the year ended, so did a big chapter of my life....

Silent Retreat

So I just got back from a silent retreat, as is part of my course requirements. A 3D2N retreat at Fraser's Hill where we can't talk at all. Can't communicate in any way. It sounds like such a freaky thing to do in our age. How do you cut off everything and live in isolation for a period of time?

But it was rather relieving to just get away and not run after anything. To enjoy the beauty that God has created for us and to enjoy God through them. How cool is that? We should all get away now and then and just nourish our souls. I thank God for this opportunity. It really was a gift in this time and age when you can't catch a break sometimes.

New Age Influences

(this was blogged during the media fast but posted only after)

Here's something I was reading in the library on New Age Movements*:

"This pervasive resurgence of New Age paganism takes many forms, including cartoons on television and children's movies. Examples are Captain Planet, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Power Rangers, The Lion King, and Pocahontas."
– H. Wayne House, Charts of Cults, Sects and Religious Movements.

That is ridiculous. I watched those cartoons all those years back…

That's a scary thought isn't it? We're all being prepared and swayed into this thought process unconsciously.

*New Age Movements (such as Theosophy, Scientology, Silva Mind Control, etc) basically throws all previous religious identification with God out of the window and claims that such feelings of separation with God is a falsity that blinds one and causes all his problems in life. Thus, by altering one's consciousness through different techniques (i.e. meditation), one will achieve the self-realization that Self is God.

Survey for my Research

I'm doing a research paper on the globalized multicultural malaysian youth. So I'm doing a survey to see how much our generation and the youth today know about our own culture or are we completely westernized. This survey is opened to 13-29years old Malaysian ONLY. It is opened to anyone so please do send this on to anyone you want who fits the criteria. As many and varied as possible will be great. Pretty please...

Please click the link below and do the survey for me.
Survey closes on August 21st. Yea I need it soon. Last minute work ;P
http://www.eSurveysPro.com/Survey.aspx?id=4a0cf892-5659-46ca-9d6a-e5087828afc1

Thanks for your participation!

Food and more food

Although I had started an exercise regime, this week I have been involved in feasting on food, food and more food. And the food spread was glorious! None of which I consciously plan for. Just that, when in Malaysia... it's a little hard to avoid! LOL. *blame it on everything else but the person eating* *ahem*


The food spread for dinner at the Louis' of which Lav cooked a bunch of the dishes and contributions from other people. I didn't guess that it was such an elaborate spread. But I overate... again.

The food spread during the last class for this year's BCM extension in Agape. We love to celebrate with elaborate food spread that was not properly planned. And I wish I ate ... more.

Then there was the wedding dinner on Friday night. And what do you get at dinners? Right on!


Anne, you're a girl! This is so unlady-like! Control yourself, girl! =D

Leadership

Practical People know how to get what they want.

Philosophers know what they ought to want

Leaders know how to get what they ought to want.

- Developing the Leader within You, John Maxwell, chp2. pg19.

Reading Assignments

This is my first official semester (or trimester as it is called). I'm taking 3 subjects and my reading assignments are more than I've ever imagined possible.


No, of course not all those books. These were some of the books displayed during one of my classes. And I don't intend to read any non required books. This trimester I have a total of 6books and a bunch of articles and partial books to finish. (I guess I'm definitely going to need that extension with the speed I'm reading) One of the challenge was to source for the books. These are but a few that I now have.


My favorite book, however, is the penguin book. The pages are few, the font is huge, there are pictures in it and it's like a children's tale containing lessons. (like a parable packed with truths)


Well, at least I'll perhaps learn to speed read out of this. And of course learn from all the things I read. Nothing like being forced to read.

What did I get myself into?

I'm now taking Masters of Divinity
At Bible College Malaysia
Part-time

Hmm...

Abortion

Recently I looked into the issue of abortion for my research paper. In the view of the sanctity of life, I took the stand that abortion is wrong. Wrong is too mild a word. The paper was suppose to support my stand from the perspective of medical science, theology, psychology, sociology and any other '-logy' there is.


Abortion is not a new topic and will be around for a long time more. It is much debated about in what's been called the 'abortion rights debate', which started during the Roe v. Wade case in 1973. One would need to think about many perspective of the issue. There is the health issues. Did you know that abortion is 4 times deadlier than childbirth and is linked to breast cancer? Another question that pops up is whether a fetus is a person. And although psychologists argue otherwise, biological science has concluded tat at conception, an embryo is a full human being and tat a fetus have its own characteristics and habits. Others argue that women should have the right over their own body, but I wonder about the baby's right to life. The bible has never addressed the issue of abortion per se because it was unthinkable, but does emphasize on the sanctity of life to God. We can also see that the laws of abortion varies in different nations depending on the culture and situation of their country. I suppose one cannot impose their beliefs to another culture or situation.

“There is something truly odd about the discussion of abortion rights. The discussion is a bit one-sided. All of the participants in the debate are alive, and the interested parties whose lives depend on the outcome of the debate are all absent — either dead or about to be killed.” By Walter Sneider, Abortion - Deadly Politics.

And as much as I wanna say it is clear to me that abortion is not natural and should not be the 'choice' of selfish women, when it comes to cases like rape or life-threatening situations, I really don't have the answer. Every stand becomes gray. All I know is that that God is sovereign and merciful.

But why can't we talk about the real issue behind abortion? Is abortion an excuse for us to live life promiscuously and flamboyantly, without a care and responsibility in the world? Let's not try to fight the symptom, let's find the root problem. There is a bigger moral dilemma that our world is facing. 93% of abortion cases are for selfish conveniences - finances, too old, too young, not ready, inconvenient, not married, etc. Over a million induced abortions in the States, and almost 500,000 in India (year 2000). That's insane!

John Willke, president of the National Right to Life of Greater Cincinnati, asked the right question when he asked “Since when does anyone's right to live depend upon someone else wanting them”

The church has always been accused of being judgmental, scaring away half the women facing the consequences of their mistakes. Maybe we need to step up and show the same kinda grace that Jesus showed the women caught in adultery. Maybe we can educate prevention and wholesome relationships and lifestyles, like what Focus on the Family is doing with young people through 'No Apologies'.

I don't wanna stand and tell a young girl not to abort because it's wrong. I wanna tell her about the wonderful life that God has install for her if she never walk down that road in the first place.

not ashamed of the gospel?

You'd think I have no problem with this. But I do. I can preach it and pray about it but I still have that fear.

I carried my heavy, thick 'Christian Theology' to the bank and JPJ, knowing I can catch up on my reading assignment during the LONG waits in those places. In holding my book and reading it, I hope to God nobody notices what I'm reading. How in the world am I to explain what that is. True enough, two people decided to ask me. An Indian Mak Cik and a petite Malay lady.

"Studying ah?" They ventured to ask. They think I'm a student *beams*

"Ya," I politely answered with a sweet apologetic smile and directed my attention back to the book. Please don't ask the next question, I kept repeating in my head. Please don't ask what I'm studying or where I'm studying. It was so hard to answer that I'm studying Theology at a Bible College. I know my answer will follow with gawks and awkward silences or even a polite and forced "good for you" instead of "you crazy ah".

Thankfully they did not venture to ask further. Probably not wanting to disturb me further.

Or had I just missed an opportunity to testify? Sigh!~ Silly me. =(

Fasting

Chapter 18: Prayer, Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem [page 390] Several benefits come from fasting, all of which affect our relationship to God:

1. Fasting increases our sense of humility and dependence on the Lord
   (our hunger and physical weaknesses remind us how we are not really strong but need the Lord)
2. Fasting allows us to give more attention to prayer
3. Fasting reminds us that, just as we sacrificed our personal comfort by not eating, we must continually sacrifice all of ourselves to him
4. Fasting is a good exercise in self discipline, strengthening our ability to refrain from sin
   (training to accept the small suffering willingly, we will be better able to accept other suffering for the sake of righteousness)
5. Fasting heightens spiritual and mental alertness and a sense of God's presences as we focus less on material things.
   
6. Fasting expresses earnestness and urgency in our prayers
   (we are saying to God that we are prepared to lay down our lives that the situation be changed)

Perhaps I should fast more. But it's so hard....

Circular Argument

What is circular argument?

Systematic Theology by Wayne Grudem gives some example:

pg.78
We believe that Scripture is God's Word because it claims to be that. And we believe its claims because Scripture is God's Word. And we believe that it is God's Word because it claims to be and so forth.

pg.79
My reason is my ultimate authority because it seems reasonable to me to make it so.
I know there can be no ultimate authority because I do not know of any such ultimate authority.

I think these kinda argument might appeal more to the Chelliah brothers.

Theology 1

I've been taking a course these last two weeks, Theology 1: God, Revelation and Man, at BCM (a place I'm starting to be familiar with).

Theos = God
Logos = word or discourse.
Thus the proper definition for 'theology' is the discourse about God. According to August H. Strong, "theology is the science of God and of God's relations between God and the universe."

What is covered in this course? Well...
Bibliology, theology proper, anthropology, harmatiology.


When I first read that, I laughed so hard. It felt like I was reading a different language altogether. But honestly, it wasn't so bad. =)

Where would I be without You?

Where would I be without You?



I was persuaded to think bout life without God. What would it be like? What would my life have been like if I had not chosen to follow Jesus? If I had chosen to walk out of church at the young age when I was contemplating to, and if God had not answer my prayers and had not found me, what would my alternate life be like?

I could very well be hanging over depression every single day of my life, with no meaning in life.

I'd doubt my self worth and think I'd never amount to anything - proved with the long line-ups of failures.

I'd probably be still living aimlessly in the city, trying to survive while finding myself away from home.

I might have also been in and out of several damaging relationships by now and lost any existing esteem.

I won't have many friends either, I suppose. And with noone to turn to, feel absolutely alone and lost.

So it is to my advantage that God did find me. Thank you Lord for calling me and walking with me, for loving me and always being there for me. As Ps Yong Heng said in class, If it weren't for the call into full-time, life as we know it out there might have destroyed me. So my beloved Jesus, my one and only, and on this day i declare that this life is for you...

Facing myself

Sometimes life circumstances forces you to take a good look at yourself. And as the mirror image looks back at you, do you always see what you want to see? Are you disillusioned of the real picture or do you really see? What if you saw some things that you don't like?

Going through the motions and realizing the flaws doesn't make it easier. Looking for the strength to overcome and become better. You can't change the past and knowing your faults does not make it easier to move on. Thoughts of how to ammend and how to be better floods in, along with life transforming stories of how some people can really turn over a new leaf. The longer you face yourself, the more uncomfortable it becomes. *Squirms*
How can one really face themselves?

Falling into the pit of self-pity, we only moan and groan at the passing circumstance. Small things become big in my eyes and self enlarges itself. When we focus so much on self, we begin to see only that. And we begin to moan about everything.

Facing my God

And then I saw God. I remembered that it was not about me. That myself must decrease in order that He increase. There is no end to self-pity. There is only hope and purpose when we look to God. And realize that our mission is everyone else.

"But remember, sinner, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee - it is Christ; it is not they joy in Christ that saves thee - it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that is the instrument - it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Christ, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Christ, the author and finisher of thy faith; and if thou dost that, ten thousand devils cannot throw thee down, but as long as thou lookest at thyself, the meanest of those evil spirits may thread thee beneath his feet... it is not faith, it is not our doings, it is not our feelings upon which we must rest, but upon Christ, and on Christ alone."
-Charles Spurgeon, August 24, 1856.

When I turned my eyes upon my God and look full upon His wonderful face, the things of the world grows strangely dim. When I see the works of His hands and the scars upon His back, I know that I wanna be called forever Yours. There is no other besides You, none can compare.

When my world falls apart, when I can no longer put hope in men, when I have been poured out like a drink offering, then can I see. The Word says we need to be broken and empty when we come before Him, then can we be filled. With so many wants and distractions, how can we see God, unless all that is taken away and we become nothing.... and realize He is everything.

Note:
I wrote this in a span of a few days so the narration may not seem to flow as one thought.