Sunday, August 31, 2008

August Events

SIB Youth Rally
2nd August 2008 (Sat)

Passion Conference

3rd August 2008 (Sun)
With Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio. It was simply amazing but we were sitting so far back we could barely see the people except what is shown on the big screen - like watching the dvd

Book of Revelation with Rick Howard
15-16th August (Fri-Sat)
A different look into an old Apocalypse

Aspirers Prayer for the Nation
16th August (Sat)

After a week of prayer and fasting, the youth gathered for a time of prayer, changing our own perspectives and mindsets about our position in our school, our nation. It was the beginning of great things to come.

Church Camp 2008:
His Presence My Passion
Grand Kampar Hotel
17-20th August (Sun-Wed)
(too many pics to upload. about 4GB and 3700 pictures to sort. so... i gave up)
I explained camp in a different post - sorta

Seremban Combined Churches Merdeka Prayer
29th August (Fri)
If Malaysians do not pray for their own country, who will?


30th August (Sat)
RKYC went to our church's Drop-in-centre in town to minister and lend a helping hand.

KinSang and Arianni's Wedding Dinner
31st August 2008
Klana Resort, Seremban
(more pics on Lav's facebook album)

This summary compilation is not working out...

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Youth Ministry

I was sitting in a class of about 70 other youth leaders and ministers, hoping to learn something more about the youth of today. The class was packed and highly popular. Someone said it was because the youth generation of today is so wildly different and dynamic that we feel the need to prepare ourselves better. And so we sat attentively at the edge of our seat as our lecturer, Ps. Julie Khoo take the mic and a hoarde of Youth Alive Committee stood at the back.

Why youth ministry? The question was thrown forward...

So many youth leaders with years of experience, but at that moment no one could answer. The silence dragged. Imagine that... We were caught. Slowly we gave our answers and opinions.

Youth ministry is the most challenging ministry, she continues.
Youth leaders have no life one. She listed reasons why people quit, misconceptions, average lifespan, root of the problem, and so on. The amount of truth reflected back on what I've felt and been facing really gripped my soul. Chaco thought I was too enthusiastic, but I think it's more the knowing that I wasn't alone. That as difficult and frustrating as it was, I wasn't alone. We were all fighting the same fight, persevering the same race. We MUST pass on the torch!

We were challenged to think about youth ministry as a whole. Reminded to hang on and find strength again. It was a challenge, a calling many of us have answered and gave our life to. Though so many of us have memorized our reasons and reiterated it to ourselves a hundred times, there comes a time that we really wonder. I went home asking God, "of all the ministries, why did you call me to youth ministry?"

And then I closed my eyes.... And then I saw the answer....

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Incidences at camp

During church camp 2008:

I was standing at the doorway, my back dripping wet from JC's moment of insanity. I could feel the water, mingled with the cool of the air conditioning, starting to seep into my bones
. I watched patiently as mother-daughter continued to negotiate for the next five minutes in the most polite debate I have ever witness.

ETC: you have to take your bath now
En: But I don't want to
ETC: we need to go to 7-eleven after this
En: But I don't want to go. I want to read my book (It was an Enid Blyton, not the pic on the left)

ETC: Then who's going to accompany me to 7-eleven?
En: You can go yourself. And while you're there, could you please buy me some more Mamee.

ETC: Well if you bath now we could go together and buy whatever you want.
En: I don't wanna bath. You go bath first
ETC: I can't bath first. I'll be clean. How are we going to bath you after that

The conversation was going no where. And I was still standing at the doorway. I was too wet to plop myself on my bed or go through my stuff. Perhaps I should bath while they argue, I thought. The negotiation had now gone up one pitch. I shifted my weight between my feet while I felt a shiver. Almost 10 minutes had gone by. My brain circuit fried that instance. All hell broke lose.

@nne: En get in the bathroom now! I've been standing there for too long in the cold and I'm wet. If you don't bath I can't bath! So close your book and get in the bathroom now! (I had a lot more things to say which I manage to control with every will power I had)
En: *looks at me temporarily shocked*
@nne: Didn't you hear me? Go now!

En: But my feet are all wrinkly now.
@nne: Well then you should go bath now and dry it out later. Why would you want to go through that process twice?

And then I went through a momentary negotiation period with that 9-year-old. How DOES she do it? The kinds of argument she can conjure a 9! But she finally made her move when I finally gave her a little shove off the arm chair.

* * *

It was a different day and a different time. I sat this time in front of my laptop, putting pictures together for a presentation that night. I had been steadily doing that for the past 2 hours now and was not yet done. Between hundreds of picture, a story and a very tiny mouse, it was impossible to finish it. I told my
self to stay focus.

C'lene was by my side and I really had wish I had time to talk to her instead. But my left brain told me I hadn't bath or eaten and I was a long way from finishing. I was dry of ideas as well. The clock struck 7.15pm and I panicked. Just then a horde of teenage girls burst into my room, with their high pitched voices, demanding my attention of their presence while curious at what I was doing.

@nne: Girls, I'm busy and I do NOT have time to bath or eat! I really must finish this! Howw...

Again they burst into chatters, indignantly exclaiming the whats and whys. Focus, I told myself. I had learnt to ignore the squeals and incessant chatters and remain un-frazzled amidst such chaotic ambiance.

In the next 45minutes, the girls organized parties to get my food, bring pictures I needed, commented and suggested on taglines for the presentation, answer my phone calls, etc. (Organize, in this sense, means in a random way with my stressing orders and requests above my laptop). I was touched by their concern and it reminded me something very important to me. Thank you Lord!

I managed to finish up the presentation at 8.05pm, chased all the girls out like a flock of birds, changed and ran down to drink my cold and waiting dinner, sneak into the hall while others were praying to see the laptop and projector in order. Phew!

Sapling of Revival

We've been praying so long for Revival in our youth group. We said as a church, as the youth that we want to see revival come. Our 3-year theme is Revival In Progress (this is the 3rd yr). And all throughout these years, hearts of youths were being prepared and shaped. As prayers were heaped upon and around these youths, we were setting our sails to catch the wind of Heaven. For us leaders, we put the seed and prayed it will grow. May God cause the increase!

O God that they may know You! O God that they may love You! O God that they may serve You!

We marched forward, instituting changes and structures. With a stronger fist we insisted, with bigger heart we cared, with a desperate spirit we cried. From the time of Retreat 2008, the theme song rang "Holy Spirit come in power, change our lives!" The leaders prayed "Fall on us Lord". And the youth cried "Fall on us Lord!".

The seed was growing its roots. Slowly but surely, the roots were deepening. And God was listening.

Over the last full week of fasting and praying... Over this past weekend in Aspirers... and even during and throughout Church Camp... we saw the first signs of revival. A sapling has shown its head. A sign of life as we hoped this year would be! Many hearts experienced a form of breakthrough and are stepping forward in faith. Their love was beginning to become more than a song they sing. I will not go into details but know the significance of the events that has past recently. Don't be left out! We sing "don't pass me by".

But let's not focus on the events less they become larger than God. Let's not get caught up in the past and miss out on the greater things to come. THIS is just the BEGINNING. A sapling!

Know this, Aspirers, that the day we have been waiting for has come! The distant sound of thunder is right in your face and the rain will soon start to pour! Do NOT run from the rain cos this is the rain you've been calling down! Do not be threaten by the thunder for that is your Creator's awesome display of glory!THIS is what we've been talking about. But things are not going to be smooth sailing from now one. Revival is the opposite of smooth sailing!

So, Aspirers, are you ready?
Are you going to be a part of this or a bystander? It has begun....

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Delightful surprise

After Aspirers yesterday, I had a rather delightful surprise. I manage to be completely ignorant that it was going on behind my back. And even though the entire day was dreadfully long and energy consuming, I wasn't dreadfully down. It was... well...

And the events of the day was worth it. (ah this part no need to blog)

The youth brought in a gigantic cake (which is still in my fridge) and a handmade card with all the signatures and a poem written by chaco but from the hearts of all (I think. LOL). This is the poem:

Here's a little something for your birthday;
It'll make your cares and blues go away... we hope...

Congratulations, you've seen another year!
May the next one be to you as dear

We know we drive you up the wall...
But still you care and love us all

We know we're a difficult bunch
But we think you can take it; just a hunch!

We're sorry for the hard times we've given
But, you must admit, it makes you more driven

I guess what we really mean to say is...
We appreciate all this...
And we love you very much
Sorry we can't treat you to lunch!

*sobs* Thanks so much guys!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Happy Birthday to Me

Yesterday I turned a year older. At 8.12am yesterday, the exact time that I was born, I was burying my head deeper into my pillow to try to catch another wink of sleep. I had been invaded by well-wishers since 6.30am (not counting after midnight's). Adults wake up way too early.

Filled with thoughts and hopes, I started my day. I guess I still had an inkling of the childish notion that today would bring sentiments that was worth keeping. Like a child opening his gift. But let's face it, I'm no child (I sense sarcasm in my readers. Chaco, I heard that!). The day passed without a hint of anything more. It was as any other day. Yes, this portion drips with hints of disappointment.

Boey and ETC reminded me, however, that a day is what you made of it. One wakes up in the morning and decides how the day shall be and nothing should hinder that choice. My smiley poster greets me each morning, saying "Choose Joy". And rightly so. I could have, and should have done something just a little crazy - as many suggested. But I did not. I did not break my fast and I did face my assignment. Sometimes I think I'm not all that capable of chasing the things I really want. People like me sit back and watch it pass us by, without an ounce of gut to grab it instead.

I miss Lav...

Lari did up a really sweet post for me which almost made me cry. I even received a present from HK. *sobs* I was sitting and watching it. Just as I wondered
if dreams ever come true, here sits something I've dared to dream but never did anything to grab it. Yet, here it is. The Chinese have a saying for this: "sam seong si seng". Directly translated as "heart wants, become reality" - what you desire in your heart has become a reality.

Nothing is impossible for Him.

I guess the best part of this day was God telling me that He's watching over my heart.

On the overcrowded corner of my dressing table.
The set is now complete.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Where would I be without You?

Where would I be without You?

Here in my life - Hillsong

I was persuaded to think bout life without God. What would it be like? What would my life have been like if I had not chosen to follow Jesus? If I had chosen to walk out of church at the young age when I was contemplating to, and if God had not answer my prayers and had not found me, what would my alternate life be like?

I could very well be hanging over depression every single day of my life, with no meaning in life.

I'd doubt my self worth and think I'd never amount to anything - proved with the long line-ups of failures.

I'd probably be still living aimlessly in the city, trying to survive while finding myself away from home.

I might have also been in and out of several damaging relationships by now and lost any existing esteem.

I won't have many friends either, I suppose. And with noone to turn to, feel absolutely alone and lost.

So it is to my advantage that God did find me. Thank you Lord for calling me and walking with me, for loving me and always being there for me. As Ps Yong Heng said in class, If it weren't for the call into full-time, life as we know it out there might have destroyed me. So my beloved Jesus, my one and only, and on this day i declare that this life is for you...

Facing myself

Sometimes life circumstances forces you to take a good look at yourself. And as the mirror image looks back at you, do you always see what you want to see? Are you disillusioned of the real picture or do you really see? What if you saw some things that you don't like?

Going through the motions and realizing the flaws doesn't make it easier. Looking for the strength to overcome and become better. You can't change the past and knowing your faults does not make it easier to move on. Thoughts of how to ammend and how to be better floods in, along with life transforming stories of how some people can really turn over a new leaf. The longer you face yourself, the more uncomfortable it becomes. *Squirms*
How can one really face themselves?

Falling into the pit of self-pity, we only moan and groan at the passing circumstance. Small things become big in my eyes and self enlarges itself. When we focus so much on self, we begin to see only that. And we begin to moan about everything.

Facing my God

And then I saw God. I remembered that it was not about me. That myself must decrease in order that He increase. There is no end to self-pity. There is only hope and purpose when we look to God. And realize that our mission is everyone else.

"But remember, sinner, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee - it is Christ; it is not they joy in Christ that saves thee - it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that is the instrument - it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Christ, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Christ, the author and finisher of thy faith; and if thou dost that, ten thousand devils cannot throw thee down, but as long as thou lookest at thyself, the meanest of those evil spirits may thread thee beneath his feet... it is not faith, it is not our doings, it is not our feelings upon which we must rest, but upon Christ, and on Christ alone."

-Charles Spurgeon, August 24, 1856.

When I turned my eyes upon my God and look full upon His wonderful face, the things of the world grows strangely dim. When I see the works of His hands and the scars upon His back, I know that I wanna be called forever Yours. There is no other besides You, none can compare.

When my world falls apart, when I can no longer put hope in men, when I have been poured out like a drink offering, then can I see. The Word says we need to be broken and empty when we come before Him, then can we be filled. With so many wants and distractions, how can we see God, unless all that is taken away and we become nothing.... and realize He is everything.

I wrote this in a span of a few days so the narration may not seem to flow as one thought.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Another Blur Friend

After chatting for about an hour with an old college classmate, she calls.

@nne: Hello
Friend: Do you know who is this
@nne: No
Friend: Haiyooo... How can!
@nne: Oh !
Friend: Eh is today your birthday?
@nne: No. It's tomorrow.
Friend: Then when is G's?
@nne: That's on the 13th.
Friend: Ohhh I thought it was 11 and 12. Ok I call you tomorrow. *puts down the phone*
@nne: ??!


Another year has gone by
Another season has come and pass
That's just the way life is
Like watching the scenery go by on a train ride
Nothing stays forever, nothing lasts
Everything has it's time and rhyme

Here I sit again
Watching the clouds pass above
And a wind from the north blows
Blocking out the sun from my face
Plummeting my soul into darkness
The ones that engulfs you whole
And once again I sit and dwell
Dreaming of a day that was never meant to be

How much time was wasted in dreams
How much time was wasted in crying
It doesn't make any sense
No sense at all to any mind
Yet the tears do flow and sobs do come
Yet one still hopes and one still wants

Precious child
Do you not know you are much loved?
That you are more than ordinary
Dear child
Will you allow Sorrow to steal the joys
When you can make it your own day
Silly child
When will you learn
Tomorrow is also another day...


Continuation from my wound story. I've showed a few people where I fall, and everytime I revisit the site, I wonder how I fell in that little place. It's beginning to sound sillier. *laughs*

Here's the wound on Day One

Here's after one week of ignoring the wound. Bruising has appeared around the wound.

Here's after two weeks. The last few days with Vitamin E (2000 UI) lotion:

It's taking kinda long to heal. Guess more lotion it is....

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Beijing Olympics 2008

Last night, at 080808 08.08pm... all eyes were on China. The world watch in breathless anticipation at what and how China would impress the world and present itself to the world. And like any Chinese, they know an opportunity when they see one. And for the first time since China opened its doors to the world, it's time to shine. You go!

Despite what rumors say about Beijing and the doubts that the world had, hearts were not shaken as China went ahead, ignoring harsh words from the West. The truth has its way of revealing itself. The grandeur of Beijing Olympics 2008:

Here's a link of the opening ceremony in case you missed it. The artistic and very visual performance of the ancient and modern harmoniously and effortless joint in a vivid presentation by thousands upon thousands of presenters. Audiences sat in awe.

And in it a story of ancient china, its contributions to the world, its culture and structure, it's beliefs and dreams for a future generation, the beauty and grace of Chinese art, combining the young and the old (children were very much involved)... all rolled into one big show.

Don't know why I'm so thrilled by this all. Maybe because it's China. Simply that.

I learnt things like China's four contribution to the world was fireworks, gun powder, paper making, print. Other than that they also created kite and the first compass. Culture and art like painting, taiqi, kunqu opera, Confucius, ancient musical instruments like Guqin. Of course other symbolism like great wall of china, the peach blossom, and many poetic and philosophical sayings filled the night. In fact without reading it on the official website, I would have missed 3/4 of the message. I guess it's a combination of things that would mean a lot to one who is truly Chinese.

More pictures here.

Thursday, August 07, 2008


Wow. Third post of the day. First time for everything I guess.
OK One of those things:

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?

Well I had always banked on 28 but looking at my age now, realistically, it doesn't look very possible.

2. What is your most favourite thing to do?

Sit with my closest friends to just talk or hang out or just sit in comfortable silence - sometimes what is unsaid is louder than what is said.

3. If you have a close close close friend since childhood who loves to take away whatever you like, including guys/girls, and he/she always wins, will you still consider him/her your friend?

LOL. I do have that. You might think this is weird but my best friend (Jesus) have been doing that - taking that which is dearest to me. But I still love Him though during those times I may get angry and pout and cry because after a while I realise that He had to break me so that He can fill me. He had to remove things that was standing in the way in between us, to get my attention. But He always blesses back more, He always gives more than enough, He always keeps His promises. He does not take away to bereave us but to give us something better.

4. What would you give up in return to eat all you want in the world and not get fat ?

Nothing - already have that. LOL. Though I don't think it will last forever.

5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?

Be a part of a blockbuster movie production (every single process).

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?

Can anyone really? Unless you're living off people. But then again, Jehovah Jireh.

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?

The people I love - seriously don't know how to take it... *cringe*
God's favour - can you imagine life if God removed His hands from you? Worst if He's agaisnt you? If the phrase "God help you" can no longer be applied and you're wide open to all the attacks from the other side... *shudders*

8. What do you feel like doing, right now?

Watching a movie and NOT studying. (gah but I should do it the other way around)

9. If you can get out of your current life circumstance, would you?

For a short while, for a breather, yes. But not completely because I know I'm in the centre of God's plans and all this is to build me up and for a greater purpose.

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

Chaco? Well he's gonna be a dramatic and deep kind of preacher (professor style) which I'd be interested to listen to, he's very passionate for the things of God - to defend and to die, he understands authority (in a way that is not commonly seen) which I respect and will one day see it returned on him (I feel).

11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

Most importantly, he has to love God, fear God, and serve God. Passion for youth is a big plus point. and among other things... ability to 'see' people and be inclusive, don't mind walking the second mile, willing to admit and learn from mistakes.... among other things.

12. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad?]

Ego centric, male chauvinist prick.

13. What is your ambition?

To live my life for Jesus and to impact others for His glory.
(ahahah I did not have to change Chaco's statement cos he phrased it so much better)

14. Is anyone really perfect?

No. Chaco got it right, people will disappoint.

15. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick ?

Happy! The kind of satisfaction of a job well done, contentment of having enough, joy of seeing the people I love doing well and growing strong, and sheer pleasure of a heart that is bursting with goodness. Does it make sense?

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?

My shyness and lack of courage. I wanna be more bold!

17. Who is the person that you can share all your problems with?

There are those I hold and trust above the rest - who will not walk away no matter what I say or do.

18. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?

at 36? Married to a good man with a nice home and wonderful kids, hopefully. Also to have accomplish at least one of the God-given visions in my head.

19. What is the one thing you love about yourself?

I'm stubbornly loyal. I could stick to one thing / person / decision for life. Some say it's called single minded something. Actually I'm not sure it's a totally good thing. And actually I'm not sure if I love that about me. Hmm... How about I love that I have a reflective soul. Meaning that I really reflect on things wanting to see it and beyond it, reason with it, understand it, appreciate it, etc. I think that's what it means. LOL!

20. If you were to get involved in a Charity Organisation, which one would it be and why?

I kinda already am with World Vision. If I do get involved in others, probably UNICEF, Kiwanis, or basically anything that is dealing with children. Cos I believe in investing in children - it's like planting a seed and watching it grow into a big strong tree. The hope for tomorrow lies in the young generation.

I'm tagging:

Expired Dettol

My colleague came up in protest when she discovered that the Dettol in our first aid kit expired two years ago. I gasped at the thought that it could kill me having had that applied on me only last week - right INTO my wounds. I was appalled!

After a short investigation, it was discovered that several other medication was also expired. What kind of a first aid kit has expired medication that could kill people? I dare not answer! (For a more lively narration, click here)

If this be the end of me, please remember that I appreciate you and I love you!
(Oh no, I'm learning to be dramatic like ETC)


Some time back (some years back actually), I received a hand-written letter from a friend. She wrote to encourage me in my times of difficulty. It was a trying time and the letter rung true. It made me cry.

Recently I found my old diary with this letter slipped in between the back pages. I read it again. This time I did not cry. This time I held the letter and said 'yes Lord'. As I walk through yet another trying path, this time I will simply say 'yes'.

This is her poem:

Trials you may face
Crossroads you may encounter
Choices you have to make
Roads you have to take

As God reveals His purposes
As God shows you His will
Do you dare take that road
Which God has pointed out to you?

As the seas ahead seem rough
As the journey ahead seem tough
Will you not believe and trust
In the Author and finisher of your faith?

He has promised to be there for you
To never leave you nor forsake you
SO won't you take that step of faith
And into His arms of love?

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

A Blur Friend

I received a text msg at 10.45pm today.

"Happy Birthday," it reads.

Hmm... my birthday is still a good week away. I reply that it was not yet dued.

He replies that he doesn't remember which day of the month. So 'tembak'.


Monday, August 04, 2008

@nne's Blunder

@nne picks up the phone in sheer laziness of putting together a perfect lunch. Dominos employee promptly picks up the phone on the second ring (unlike our local cineplexes).

"I'd like to take an order," says @nne.
"You mean you'd like to place an order?" says the voice.
@nne is dumfounded. "Yes that's what I meant." Laughs nervously, falls facedown. *shy*

Take A Bow

Inspired by Rihanna's "Take a Bow" although it has nothing to do with her lyrics:

All the world's a stage
And men and women merely players
Says some wise sage
Tis' the line that make us believers

Here I am standing at the edge of reason
Walking pass the turmoils of my heart
The bitter sweet of life's latest season
Learning simply to play my part
Heartaches and laughters
All but memories of a distant past
Life's storms and thunders

In this game we call living
In my perfectly orchestrated scenes
And now all eyes are on me
I need to take a bow

No tears are required
None from me
The show's not mine
I'm a mere part in the play
And the part must be played well
Well enough to make believers
But it's over now
It's time to take a bow

Head held high
Smile plastered on
With all grace and beauty
I'm taking my bow

-Written by @nne-

Friday, August 01, 2008

Bunches of Three

Although I do not subscribe to the 'problems comes in bunches of 3' belief.... and still don't btw... but call this a coincidence or a psychological manifestation of the above. I mean there's so many ways around how you can explain it. But we won't attempt to do that today.

Three days in a row, I accidentally injured myself.. resulting in increasing catastrophes upon myself.

Day One
Burnt my finger touching a sizzling hot pan.
Skin 'bubbled' and white. (too much light exposure to see)

Day Two

Caught my finger between a sliding door.
Blue black bruising. (Ixus 60 can't show the colouring much)

Day Three

Fell into a hole and scratched my side body on a piece of metal.
12cm laceration wound that required a tetanus jab. (pic shows half)
ETC's version here

I had a dream that this went on... day after day... Actually, I think we should call that a nightmare. Kimchie prayed (during cell) that I would stop hurting myself... ever. LOL.

I'm one of those kid that don't fall and break her teeth, or sprain her ankle from climbing a tree, or anything like that. I'm one of those whose biggest injury is a searing my palm from tanglung and bruising my hip walking into a table and scratch marks from an angry kitten. I've never even been bitten by a dog or loose my toenail! So looking at my wounds through the mirror stunt me temporarily.

Here's to my first major injury....... May there be no more!