Easter preperations continues

For the first time we did a little preview in Jusco. What we did was radical and crazy. But it caught attention. I only pray that we also caught interest. God open hearts and open eyes!! We intend to storm Seremban with not just bright lights and colours and crazy activities, but with warmth, with love, with compassion, as little Christ in this town.

With the message that 'screams' at the end of the Believe narration:

Pilate: Just weeks before, those eleven men had been crying in locked rooms, too afraid to come out. But after the reported sightings of Jesus, they were changed! ... They became fearless, they became bold, and for the first time since I knew them, they did not seem to be afraid of death.

Narrator: What changed them? Why would they so readily sacrifice the lives they had fought so hard to keep?... The only thing which could explain this phenomenon was belief. A belief that went beyond simple acknowledgement of a fact. ... Belief is completed by the decision to follow.

The ONLY thing that can explain this phenomenon is belief. The ONLY group of people in the face of this earth that are martyred (die or killed because of their faith) are Christians. (we not talking suicide kay, we talking persecuted, killed, tortured).

Come and find out what this Belief is..... this Easter...

Working in Church

I've been hired to work in church office for an entire month to Easter. Though I am gonna be solely for Easter Musical 2006 project - everything from answering enquiries to arranging stuff (every capalang thing) - I think I will have time to also help with so many other things. People are dumping stuff on me. Not that I'm complaining. In fact I'm used to being overloaded. Again not that I'm overloaded - yet.

But something is happening and I'm begining to wonder what. Where is God leading me? Where does He intend me to talk? I wanna hear His voice and know His specific Will in my life. But I'm not hearing very clearly. Perhaps I need more assurance, more confirmations. Hanging in between two dangerous lifeline.
My life has never been so blur. Never been so unsure. I've reached the crossroad... now I need to go somewhere or no where. Pastor Bob Stevenson prophesied that doors will start opening in my life. I've been waiting so long. And I can't wait to start of into it - whatever this new path for me is.

Easter Musical

Our Easter Musical is underway. Practices have become four hours every Sunday, more for some. But we all know the long and tiring process will pay off. There are now 230+ volunteers helping in one way or another for this Musical. That's 2/3 of the church and it is an awesome sight. Plans are being made and executed everyday. There are so much of things to look into now that it could blow your mind. Thank God for professional event organizers in our team. God has blessed us with many many talents.

What makes these people spend so much time and money for this? There is so much work involved. The making of costumes, learning to makeup, preparing the food for refreshement, staring at the computer screen for hours to design and plan, to practice exhaustively and over and over again, planning and thinking and organizing, to go out of our comfort zones to do so much. But why would anyone do that? Isn't there better things to do? Adults in business, students facing exams.

It is ridiculous for many. The thought of spending the only free day of the week not sleeping at home. So why do they do it? Why do I do it?

Because we believe. Come and see what it's all about this Easter.

Identity Crisis

I read that a young adult will go through a phase where he/she questions his path. And he can't blame them for asking. I'm a young adult and have been in and out that phase every now and then. For me I just need to know. Otherwise I feel my world shaking. And though I know that I will always have the security in Christ though my world may fall apart, I can't help but question sometimes. I need to be assured again and again. I need the tangible sense of security.

Being in between worlds knocks a person's senses. You feel like you are standing on a crossroad, except that the crossroad is so overgrown with bushes that you can't quite see where each of them lead. Plus it is quite dark and foggy out there. And you just don't know. Life begin to feel like a merry go round. You keep going round and round. You're just not getting there. It goes up sometimes and down sometimes. You wish that it will just take off like in Mary Poppins.

I used to have a reason to wake up every morning. I used to have a more vivid drive.... Now getting off bed seems pointless. I seem to be waiting, always just waiting..... They're so many uncertainties, questions, fears - that I don't know what to do with it. I wish it were as easy as leaving it at the feet of Jesus. My tendency to worry gets in the way. How then do I know the difference between trust and naiveness; waiting and lazy; God's leading and people's influence.

God pls don't keep me in suspense. I've pledged my life to You and You know I will follow. Lead me I pray. Let me know it's You....

Never too old to learn new things

In the course of the week, I attended two different courses a.k.a. seminars. And it was good. Who says you are too old to learn? I love learning stuff. Will love it even more if it doesn't cost that much and preferably no exam. They say in NZ you could learn for life. And at the barest minimum. Isn't that awesome. If I had that sort of opportunity, there's just so much that I want to learn.

Not sure if it was too much on the brain though. You feel you want to learn all you can. Your brain feels like a sponge, it can at first absorb so much.. but soon it begins to feel difficult. You have not after all finish digesting the earlier one. I remember there were some seminars I attended with arms folded, thinking what have you got that I don't already know. Pride. I've learnt that there always is something to learn. And only a receptive heart will receive the most. And now I remind myself all the time that "I want to learn". And truly I do. I want to have a teachable heart, humble and willing. Then I will grow!

The two things i attended was: DISC profiling and the Million leader Mandate.

DISC profiling: I learnt bout how God created people with variety and that it was good. Our personality is made up of our character and our temperament, of which only the character can be changed, whilst the temperament is a inborn setting. That temperemant is what we know as the DISC.
D - dominant, risk takers, hot tempered, confident, driven
I - influential, sociable, easily distracted, spontaneous, procrastinator
S - steady, stable, hate insecurity, slow to change, loyal
C - compliant, perfectionist, systematic, thorough, sensitive

After a short test, I found myself to be a high S (also known as phlegmatic) with secondary D and C. This test helped me understand myself better and hope to improve what I lack. I also learnt how to work with people of other temperaments. understanding people's temperament help me be more patience towards others as well as work in our best interest. Knowing that we are created the way we are for a specific purpose. God used various temperament leaders for different situations and God's methods of handling people were examplary.

Did you ever realise that God spoke to Moses (Compliant) thru a burning bush and not a light from Heaven while Paul (Dominant) needed that light. Realise how God very slowly guided Abraham (Steady) out of the land he was dwelling while he told Paul (Dominant) to rise up and go. Noticed how Jesus asked Peter (Influence) over breakfast three times the same thing while he patiently answered all of Moses' (Compliant) questions. Isn't it amazing that God understands us perfectly and chooses to work with us at our level?

Million Leader Mandate (MLM): "Everything rises and fall on the leadership" says Dr John Maxwell. It takes a lot to be a leader. And all the more a Christian leader need to be equip to be effective. A leader's ministry is the people and that's why all the more we need to do it well. We are after all leading people. Should not a Christian be the most charasmatic of people, what more a Christian leader. Whoever said it was easy? There's just so much, from God's call to having a passion and vision, from communicating well to people skills, from effecient strategic planning to setting priorities. MLM was formed to train effective Christian leaders to lead.

According to its statistics after 2000 years only 30% of the world's population is a Christian. Something is so wrong man. Why have we become stagnant in our faith? I have also believed that effective leaders can bring its ministry to greater heights. I have always felt that I was never equipped enough and thus strive to learn more from wherever I can. I also believe in training and equipping my leaders in the Word and in skills so that we can be more effective for Christ. Being in a leadership position is not just a title and will benefit noone if we are all agreeable. It's time to shake the bees nest. It's time to rise up and make an impact and a difference to the people around us.

Another day in the city

It's back to where the city never sleeps. It was like a horrid adventure that I traveled all the way up on bus and LRT. It makes me appreciate the luxury of cars that I enjoy so very often. I was so uncomfortable and squashed that Hazel's car looked so welcoming that I could hug her. Imagined I was squashed to the point I could not reach my handphone when it rang.

Back in the city, people persuaded me to stay. Join the city life it seems. It's actually not that I love the city so much. Perhaps at time I was merely trying to get away from all that my life represents. Maybe I needed to refresh myself, catch a breather. Maybe it was people I needed back into my life once in a while. I don't know what it is... but I thank God that Hazel has made her home available to me whenever I need it. Though it cost money, though it is a little more trouble, I still find it wonderful to go up sometimes..... Just to be.

I like seeing things. It's like feasting my eyes. There's so much beauty around to see. After torturing my feet walking around town on heels, we arrive at Luna Bar - a top floor, open air hangout. It looks like a high class, exclusive club things that people go too after work to hang and have cocktail or a business pool party. I felt a little bit awkward as I was more like crashing. And being short on cash at that moment, we did not dare order a single thing. However, the sight was one to behold. The pool right in the middle reflected the moon that was just above. You could see the entire city from there.

Do I hear the call of the city? Only at times. So thank God I live close enough to indulge once in a while yet far enough not to be eaten by it.

Pictures will be uploaded soon as Hazel gives them to me.

Purposeful living

Stepping in the working world throws us with many questions. Questions bout our life, our future, ourselves. And many enters a dilemma if not a crisis. One looks for where to belong, what to do with life, what it all means.... Unfortunately, many never finds this answer.

I was just thinking bout this these few days as the topic arose a few times. As I watch my friends around me, I can only say that though my future is not secure, though I don't exactly know how or what to do at times, I can assuredly say unto anyone that I know where I belong, I know my purpose for living. And I praise God for that. Knowing the person that I am, I can only thank God that He has revealed His purpose for my life years ago and I no longer doubt.

Living to make a difference, every decision I make in my life, God is directing me somewhere specific. There are still so many questions but I am not fearful for my future is in His hands and I know that the Creator of my heart has only the best plans for my life. I'm doing what my life is meant to do and what else can be more fulfilling? Like a instrument being used for exactly what it was created for. I have no regrets. No matter what people will say, I'm running after you.

I have no intentions of returning to a fulltime job. I know I'm walking in the right direction.

City lights

With the recent price hike on petrol, (read it) traveling had suddenly become more painful than before. You begin to really feel the pinch. Some people complain, nobody rejoices. My kembara drinks petrol so I felt it too. I began to think of all the times i chaffuered people around and what my dad had always said. Think think. There must be other ways to conserve fuel. So I'm beginning to opt to more carpooling whenever possible.

I have this tendency also to want to go up to KL. Yes, Seremban can be boring, I agree. However, I have no plans to live elsewhere. That doesn't mean I can't visit the big city every once in a while to just get out a little, see the world, and all those things. I mean at my age, you'd understand. The city lights do have some lure. I am totally aware though, that going to the big city also means loosing extra cash. Not something very pleasant to think about. Yet, I still want to go. Hmm.. this is hard.

There's only one thing to do. Think of a way to go up and still save money. I opt for public transportation. It is so much cheaper. But that means no more flexibility. Well you've gotta sacrifice something. Food is somewhat inevitable when you're in the big city. There's stil such thing as cheap food but hey I go all the way up to eat things I can have back in S'ban? sounds weird. Accomodation is not a problem as Hazel has up till now offered her couch. But I don't feel nice always staying at her place. Maybe once in a while I might think of staying with Esther or Lavinia instead. Might actually be fun if they're not working late. I sure thank God that I am still able to go up every now and then.

Ohyes, here's an interesting logfile: The Adventure of the Couch

• 1st Visit - could not sleep. too noisy if balcony window is opened. too stuffy if balcony window is shut.
• 2nd visit - close balcony window and turn up the fan speed. slept! woke up. could not sleep again. neck very pain from the couch arm.
• 3rd visit - used two pillow and slept on couch base instead. no neck pain. could not sleep. was too stuffy with balcony window closed. Searched entire hall for the fan remote. Found it at 2.45am.
  
• 4th visit - nex wk. wonder what adventures the couch holds for me.
  

THey say experience is the best teacher. Experience makes us a little bit wiser, a little bit stronger. It sure colours your life.

Picture courtesy of David Yeow.

More than life

Stand by everything You said,
Stand by the promises You made,
Let go of everything I've done
I'll run into Your open arms,
And all I know

I love You more than life
I love You more than life

Fall back on everythin You've done,
Fall back on everlasting arms,
When all the world is swept away,
You are all the things I need,
You're the air I breathe

How can it be
You were the One on the cross
Lifted for all of our shame?
How can it be
The scars in Your hands are for me?
You are the King of all...

Memoirs of the land below the wind

Destination: Kota Kinabalu
Date: 18th - 22nd Feb 06
Participants: Anson, Jennifer, Joanne, Li May, Hazel, Kin Fei, Esther, Yeh Ying, myself
Day 1:
We left the airport very much in excitement, especially for Kin Fei who was on his first flight. It was a long wait, as there was a delay (apparently as usual). The group gel instantly as we chatted nonsensically at the terminal. Finally we were taking off and on our way. It didn't take long to arrive at the KK airport terminal 2 (it looks more like a bus station) but we almost went crazy with nothing to do on the plane. I took upon myself to try Hazel's electronic Sudoku. Upon arrival, Dr Serena was there to meet us. Toy was on the other end of the door too. After 4 years, it was certainly pleasant to meet again!! After a quick check-in at the friendly waikiki condo (we were known as the Annie group), we dived head first into a world of seafood. Though it was slightly more expensive, but the variety was a real eye opener. There were things of the sea that I've never imagined before. Our first nite was quite interesting. Roaming around the room, chatting, bathing, getting comfy. With too few beds I opt so sleep on the harder bottom half of the bed - and as predicted didn't get much sleep.
Day 2:
Some of us dragged ourselves out of bed in the wee hours of the morning (sun rises earlier in Sabah) to the Dayak market. Being too blur we barely did anything but walk and had breakfast. We all attended SIB skyline (Serena's church) on this bright Sunday morning and was enthralled by their antics and ways. After which, we went our separate ways. The rest of them headed for Pulau Sapi for the day while Hazel, Serena, Yeh Ying and myself jumped into the car and headed pass Beaufort, Papar and to Kuala Penyu. The journey took 2 hours to the jetty that would soon ship us to the mystical Pulau Tiga a.k.a. Survivor Island. I never actually saw that episode but who doesn't know Survivor. We did a lot of photo shots, a lot. I've never quite liked looking at myself through the lense of a camera but I actually liked a few of them. Quite pro! A speedboat then sped us off to the open sea where I stared out in oblivion at the growingly rough seas and was drawn to it like a bee to honey. It was refreshing, but Serena and Hazel fell asleep sitting straight. Upon docking and dumping our bags in our chalets, we rushed to snorkel. "Sun is setting, Good luck," someone said. Snorkelling needed some getting used to. I found it hard to stabalize myself in the water and there was far too much salt water. The depth of the ocean, the chorals and fishes intially scared me and threw me off balance even more. You could almost touch the chorals and hey, they're alive. The night did not offer anything to do except the bustering scene before us, the calm ocean sights and the sounds of other guests' karaoke singing. We sat taking in everything a while before succumbing to return to the comforts of our chalet with a game of PayDay. It ate one hour into the night leaving us at 10pm. We decided to turn in early as we had not enough sleep previous nights anyway.
Day 3:
We arose early to the beeping of my handphone and dragged ourselves out of our comfy beds. After breakfast we went crazy with the camera. Posing here and there, taking in the entire scenery before us. After some time we headed for the Mud Volcano. I will admit that the thought of it disgusted me at first, but caught my interest later. The walk was 20mins through mosquito infested jungle was led by our two energetic doctors, who were the first to test out the mud pool. The mud pool was covered with fallen twigs, leaves, seeds, larvae eggs and God knows what else. Swimming in it was even more beyond description - squisshy, cold. Imagine swamp thing crawling out of the swamp. As soon as the mosquito started attacking us, we hurried our way back down the track towards the beach. I was one of the last, trying to make my way through slippery paths barefooted. It was a real challenge for me. All the way I kept wishing i was almost back. Feeling like heroes who just survived a most atrocious ordeal, we began our photo mania again as the mud hardened against our skin. Washing off in the sea was quite an effort, as my shorts had collected a lot of mud in its pockets. Soon after we gathered our gears and headed for open sea again to snorkel. With the sun up, this time we saw a wondrous sight. No longer afraid, we chased the abundant tropical fishes up and down. It was awesome to behold the sight of the ocean bed. Tired out, we finally bathed and lunched on the resort's main deck while awaiting our ride back to mainland.
We went back to Serena's place and treated it like our own. And i left quite a few things back at her place too. The night dawned upon us fairly soon and we went to have another bout of seafood. Thinking of it is luring out my saliva. I met up with Alice and John for yumcha and we chatted away into the night like old times - old times, the term itself tells that we've aged.

Day 4:
We had nothing scheduled to do on this day and so slept in. The day passed by so slowly. We had lunch at a Japanese restaurant and then returned back to our condo. With absolutely nothing to do, we sprawl around the condo talking and complaining. I was ready to go out of my mind. I wasn't in the mood to dwell in one of my thoughts or indulge in any daydreams. The rain finally lifted and we went for a walk to Tanjung Aru Resort and along the beaches for a change of scenery. It was quite refreshing but we finally return to base to our resident pool where yeh ying and hazel went for a dip. I watched and held the camera. That night we went for yet another bout of seafood at a famous spot in KK. It really was good, and coming from me, you know it really is. Our group was complete again on the final night. But as some of the mountain climbers opt to sleep, the rest of us headed for KK's famous bubble tea hangouts and exchanged stories and experiences. Then later back at the condo around the round table, again we indulged in stories into the night.

Day 5:
Dragging ourselves out of bed in the wee hours again, we joined Alice and John for breakfast at a 'san yuk min' place. Food was good but we were too beat to have a decent conversation. Btw, Thanks Alice!! Heading back, packing and waiting for the rest really took a lot out of us and we were jus falling asleep all over the place. I bought tiger prawns home and we all headed back to the terminal to face yet another delay which bored us to tears. Finally we were on board the new Air Asia and ready to go home. Everyone slept on board. Home sweet home.

For more pictures, click here. or visit Hazel's blog.

Aspirers Retreat 2006

Revival is in progress. There is no doubt, no hesitation, no turning back.

This year youth camp has moved to a new level. We decided to expand the organizing team and more than half the camp were eventually involved ain one way or another. From devotion lleader to team leader, to food personnel to worship team.... It was at first slightly freaky to have such a big team - it also meant out of control - but it also meant training and equipping. So yeah. It was awesome. And everyone did an amazing job. But because of that too, many were more involved in the camp - heart and soul. Many believed, many prayed, many stepped forward, many hoped.

God's hand was on the entire camp. It was evident. The camp was a testimony by itself. Many knew and believed and saw. And it has been more real to me than ever before - that prayer is really a powerful tool. It has really caused me to see.... Just to name a few:

• Our initial campsite did not work out - last minute but still we found one in the nick of time
• Not many people signed up - but more people were involved and excited
• It rained during departure till we arrive - but not a drop of rain for the rest of the camp
• There were internal conflicts - but we put our differences aside and remembered that we were doing it for God.
• We forgot to buy prizes - but we finished everything else so early that on the final morning we could go shopping instead of rushing the other intigrity camp details.

Nothing could stop us. God was on our side. It was so evident.

We had all kind of activities that were new to us and to the youth. We daring to try new things (our theme is DARE after all). And our only prayer is that everything will work together to gear hearts and mind towards the one thing that mattered - to start a revival in our hearts. You cannot organize revival, but you can set your sails to catch the wind of Heaven. And so it was, every activity held a lesson you don't learn in the classroom - that is Aspirers' Retreat's trademark. The music mania that taught not to gossip, the campfire initiation taught passion, the sand castle showed that life's not fair and we learn to make the best with what we have, the raging river taught cooperation and working with what you have, crabbing taught hardship and perseverence, devotion prepared the soul, debate brought out talents and touched on certain grey topics, dorm moments refreshed and fed questioning hearts. I could go on...

What blessed my heart the most was the altar calls. Instead of lingering at the back, they stepped forward in hunger - no loiterring, no waiting, no hesitating - just there, eyes squeezed shut, hearts aimed towards Heaven, lips in prayer, tears streaming down their faces, hands trembling in desperation and in urgency. God looks for those who are hungry. He searches the earth for those who are seeking. And He will meet us there. There were no pictures, no videos, cause God was moving so powerfully. Many were touched, many slained, many experienced breakthrough in their lives, and many testified. Don't look down on yourselves because you are young, but set an example for believers...... some were only 13. All the leaders were praying, crying, hugging along with the youths.. just touched by the presence of God. After all was said and done, I stood at the altar front and cried to God. I wanted Him to touch me too. It's been so long, so dry, so distance. I told God I will not move till He touch me. And He did. He so did... I could barely contain myself. And I could not stop.

Lord we need a revival, Lord we need you to move
By your spirit and power, Let your kingdom come
Give us a passion for the lost, Give us a hunger for your spirit
Send Revival....

And this is only the begining. It has just started....

For more pictures click here. For the full CD (video compilation and complete pictures) order through Aspirers for only RM5.

Pre Retreat

This year the fuss about Aspirers Retreat is greater than any other year. Our theme was "Revival In Progress" and indeed we were serious about it. We started the camp a week ahead to introduce the camp, prepare hearts and mind about the entire meaning of this year's camp, start the bonding much earlier, ignite the hype. And it worked!!

The buzz was on with both the campers and committee. People put more heart and effort into it. With a larger team, there was less work for us to do. So much so Hazel, Eunice and myself had more free time on our hand then we bargained for. So we hung around a little more. I'm very proud of the entire team and knowing how far we have all come. Talents were evident in the younger ones. Like gem stones needing to be refined, I can only imagine how they will shine. This was one of the other objectives of the retreat, to train the younger ones.

Retreat in 2 days...

LOST

"Each one of us were brought here for a reason"

Nuts about Lost. They say if you don't follow it episode by episode you might just get lost. And what I love most about this drama is the idea that you just don't know what it is in the jungle that is so fearsome, that gives so much mystery. As the episodes unfold, every character has a story or retribution - a real life. (for more of Lost click here) Characters come to life. As they learn to live as a community without the ability to say "I quit", they learn what it is to live and love. Of cos the suspense of 'The Others' keeps the show going and gives the drama the edge that keeps viewers like me coming back for more.
I'm trying to download the full set of the second season. Jus had no patience to wait for AXN to screen it. Up to date, I have downloaded and watched up to episode 6. Currently downloading the next 3 episodes. Anyone has the full season please please save me the agony and lend me!!

Sometimes we look at the lives around us - we work and go about our daily businesses (like the movie) not realising that everyone has their story. Sometimes we get impatient on the road at some driver not knowing they may have their own story. We find it so hard to judge when we should be forgiving. After all, we are all just human. Just humans with our own stories. Sometimes we just need to try to understand. As much as we want people to understand us, we need to first understand people. Each one of us was brought here for a reason.

Sometimes when you think your life is terrible, you just need to look around you. There are far worst lives around you. Just thank God for your life! Sometimes I just sit and watch the people around me. What are they thinking? What have they just gone through? What is their story? How can you say life is boring? hahaha...

Life!~

You gotta love it!

Chinese New Year

Gong Xi Fa Cai!! Gong Hey Fat Choy!!
With the dawn of the New Lunar Calendar Year, all is abuzz - especially in this little life of mine. It's the year of the Fire Dog they say. Hey that's my year! Means i've gone through 2 full cycles of the lunar calendar. Man i'm getting old. So what's all this fuss about Chinese New Year?

Here's a few CNY (as it is fondly known as) traditions in Malaysia:

Once a year, people flood the highways and byways to get to their hometown. Home is where the heart is. And to celebrate the coming of a brand new year, people flock home for a reunion where as many family members as possible come together to eat and drink. Whether you love each other or hate each other, you still have to meet that once a year. Traffic is totally suicide but hey, people still risk that long journey home. I think it's a good thing cos that once a year you still go home. It's like the Christmas tradition overseas. Keeps the family together.
And then suddenly u noticed those little baby relatives of urs have grown (well considering the last time u saw them was last yr). Then u go "wow so big already". It's no wonder our aunties and uncles do that to us. Oh these are my cousin's kids by the way.
Another common practise is to totally sweep the house clean. Top to bottom, every nook and cranny. Turn the house upside down for a spring clean. New furnitures are added. The precious china and silk curtains are brought out (not literally though). Hey my family practises this too. It's a crazy week before the New Year arrives. At least the house gets cleaned and look awesome once a year. We load the fridge or cooler with cans and packets of drinks, jars with assorted cookies, tables with all sorts of yummies and a total must - mandarin oranges and peanuts.

The food is awesome this time of the year too. Someone said that we bluff ourselves that this indulgence is only once a year - but for Malaysians we say that for Christmas, CNY, Hari Raya, and what have you. In the end it is all year round, all the time. Thus, our famous quote "Malaysians eat 24 hours a day". The pictures below were the food I indulged in during the Klang reunion.
A strange tradition which becomes the highlight of all single people is the red packet - Ang Pow. Yea it contains money in it and this year, harvest was bountiful. hahaha... Actually as I was packing my parent's for them I was just thinking how married people had to take out hundreds of dollars jus to fill these little packets and give it away so freely. Does it hurt to do it? But I seem to see the common practice there. Giving! The spirit of giving and sharing. Sounds familiar? Hmmm.... I began to feel that this is a good practice after all! Teaches you not to horde too much eh? You also should give gifts of mandarin oranges (a must), peanuts (again a must), bah kua, biscuits, and other things to close ties - which I chose to do with my neighbours. And the feeling is good. Of course, you will definitely need to return a gift of such too if received one.

Oh yes, something you just ought to do is to 'bai nin'. Pay a visit to faraway family members, friends, colleagues, and so on. Just to say hello. My friends and I do this at a yearly basis. We visit houses after houses on the first day. Sit, drink, eat cookies, and get our ang pows. However, the spirit of visiting is waning off. Perhaps we are getting old and after all, it has been going on since I started driving. I want to continue for the kids. It's good practice in one sense and tiring on another sense. But, I too, am getting tired - having need to split the visits between the 15 days of Chinese New Year. (pics of some past year moments)
What else have we got? Lou Yee Sang with family and friends (originally for prosperity and all but we do it for fun), lion dances through the malls and neighbours' fire crackers, wine and beers offered all over, card games and mah jong, cheers and laughters, and the hot hot sun. How can you not love Chinese New Year. *laughs*

Happy Chinese New Year!!

Uncanny number plate

This is a number plate that I came across in a small kampung area. I wonder who was it written specifically for?

Anew

I finally decided that I will finally perm my hair. My hair is naturally half wavy and half straight - a phenomenon for hairdo-s. However, it was horribly dry - a hair nightmare. And was totally out of control and there was just no way it could naturally be nice unless I go for treatment every month or so, which by the way will cost me a bomb. I figured might as well curl it all the way then!

And so I did. (pic on the left shows my hair one day after perming) Cost me a bomb too. Took 4 hours to get it right. Four really long hours. And as I began to discover, maintanence is so so high. I had no idea it was so difficult. Mind you, I'm totally non-beauty-savvy. There are many things I don't know. Like what to apply when or how or so forth. I'm still wondering why the top layer of my hair is so dry and the bottom layer (under the thick pile of mane) is so beautiful. Someone help?


A lot of comments I got was that it was really nice. However, I felt quite insecure about it. Not sure why. Perhaps cos i wasn't used to looking at myself like that. Plus the extra mouse on my hair... well it just makes me feel weird that my hair felt like straw. But I guess looking at the above pic now makes me realise that it's alrite after all.

Because once I washed it, and not knowing exactly how to get back the above look. I had this fear that the perm will just go away after I washed it. But My hair now looks like the below. (Yea I mengada-ing) Someone told me I look like I'm trying to "fat hau". Just don't ask me what I was trying to pull... Cos I have no idea.
Anyone care to help me fix it? Or is this alrite? The thought of paying some more at the saloon to get back a look that is fit for a dinner, well its a little scary. I have no idea what happened to the curls. That's why I had earlier prefered straight hair - more manageable, controllable, predictable. Curls... they're too random. yea Val, randomness is not all me. But I'm comforming a little. *wink*

Speaking of new-ness. Lynne and I went CNY shopping these days. Yea in Seremban where else - Jusco lah. I'm an express shopper btw. Not your average girl shopping. I know what I want and I know what I don't. The only time I pause to think is for practicality and price. I won't try and 'fat hau' again and model. Save you the torture of seeing my lame-ness. But I'm happy with my recent shopping result. I don't ever remember being able to shop so much before. Thanks mommy for the bonus!! Hahahaa.....

Day 1: alone 45 mins - 3 item - total Rm100
Day 2: with Lynne 1hr 45mins - 5 items - total Rm150 (Lynne got 4 items for RM150)
Day 3: with Lynne - (to be updated soon)

The road less taken

I glanced at my watch. It was still early. I have just enough time to take a nap before I had to appear for my night shift. The sun was burning and I was glad to scurry into the tunnel ahead. A car drove pass, disturbing the few dried leaves on the ground. As another gust of wind blew it around, I stopped dead in my tracks. A chill ran down my spine. I wasn't completely sure why I stopped but I felt afraid. Not of the quiet streets or the darkening sky, but of the future - The unwritten future. I was at a crossroad - my path was bringing me to two separate paths, and I had to choose. I saw what each held. One was a path filled with everything a young adult could want. And the other was risky and lonely. What will it be?

I was just talking with my cousin, Eunice, yesterday. I chose the road less taken. But it was lonely. I lost things I never thought I could. I found myself no longer on any certain grounds. And worst of all, I just realised last nite that I'm not terribly close to any living soul anymore. And I wonder. Eunice shared what she had just learnt in Tung Ling (definitely not a waste eunice), about how a leader's is always lonely. Emotional attachments are not necessarily good when one is a leader. I never saw it that way before - I just knew it had to be. She reminded me of the prophecy and confirmation that God had given me just last year. Sometimes when you're sitting in the valley, it's hard to look up to the mountains and remember what it was like, or what you have seen. The journey upwards (to the mountain where the vision comes to pass), is so much harder. It's difficult to climb up a mountain while telling people to come along up (to see what you have seen).

"I've been to the mountaintop, and I've seen the other side,"
Those words of Martin Luther King Jr
ignited the passion of the civil rights movement.
His attitude of expectancy caused thousands to follow him,
no matter what the cost
- Minute Motivators for Leaders, by Stan Toler

So many things are uncertain and unseen. How can you possibly be sure that every step you take is the right step? Sometimes we can't even tell when God is chastening us and directing us. How truly will we know which is God and which is our mind speaking? Eunice reminded me to listen to the very voice of God. But I wish He weren't that subtle. Faith is a very thin wire on which we are all walking on. Sometimes it seems like we're grasping at thin air... but I'm reminded of a solemn vow...

"You are my God my life my all
And I live for You alone I am Yours evermore
Heaven and earth will shout Your praise
The wonder of Your name
I'll proclaim evermore
Evermore......"
-Evermore, Planetshakers

No matter what the cost. That was it. And I can't give up now. The 'Secrets of the Vine' series talks about producing more fruits than leaves. And it is hard to release those leaves so that more fruits can grow. What kind of sacrifice am I wiling to make, parts of my life that I'm willing to put down, things that I'm willing to give up and just let God? I will admit it's hard sometimes. When the insides of you long to hang with your own friends, and you know you need to get up and walk over to the other side of the room to talk to someone else.

"God is trying to get more 'sap' to those areas that produces fruit
by cutting away what isn't necessary. (not always bad things only)
That involves surrender and relinquishment on our part.
And that's where discomfort can come in.
We're reluctant to lay something down
that feels important to our happiness."
- Day sixteen, Secrets of the Vine Devotional

"If you love earthly tings, you wander far from God-
the body wanders in places; the soul wanders in affections.
To love God is to throw off every spiritual weight
that will keep your soul from rising to Him."
-Augustine of Hippo

Secrets of the Vine

Pause today to consider how jesus responded to Peter. You'd think such grievous sin (Peter denied Jesus 3 times), would warrrant more intense discipline. But after the men finally landed their nets full of fish, Jesus invited them to sit down for breakfast. And after breakfast, He offered Peter the gentlest of rebukes. Simply a question - "Do you love Me?" (John 21:15-17)

...Commenting on Peter's restoration, the late Roy Hicks Jr. wrote in 'A Small Book About God':

"What breaks your heart and mine is being forced to recognize that even though we have failed Him miserable, we genuinely do love Him. We have failed Him - only to discover that He doesn't want to talk about our failures. he wants to talk about our love. "

How shocking it is to come out of a season of discipline knowing that God is more kind and giving than you ever dared hope and that you want to do His will more than you ever thought possible.

-excerpt taken from Day Fourteen, Secrets of the Vine Devotional

Aspirers 2006

A promo session on Aspirers (Agape's youth group). This is a new year, a new year to make new ammends, resolutions, daring to dream dreams.... Changes are always good for growth. And growth is what we want to see in the new season. Watching the youth has brought me more passion and gave me a sense of urgency like never before. I will not indulge in telling you the details but I know that the time (that i've been waiting for) has finally come. I give you... Aspirers 2006 (left)






I'm truly excited about what's going to happen, about what God's going to do in us and thru us. I truly believe more than ever that something powerful, amazing, bountiful is going to take place. As we take a step of faith and commit ourselves to be His hands and feet to reach out to our youth, God is going to pour out His spirit like never before. Friends and family, if you are reading this, I besiege you to pray for us. Our theme this year is DARE. Dare to dream, dare to believe, dare to hope, dare to love, dare to reach out, dare to commit, dare to do all those things that we have always held back. Once we dare to step forward we will experience breakthrough in our life. It is that one step that we need to take and God will take many many steps towards us. Just one step for us.

Young man see vision and old man dream dreams. Let us than see those visions. God keep them coming. Put a fire in each heart that they may yearn after you. Yearn unceasingly. Help them to believe. Help us, the leadership team to guide them to realise those dreams and potential and talents you've given them. To be all that they can be in You and for You. Jesus, empower us, tear down any strongholds in our lives and their lives, build lasting bridges. Holy Spirit guide us, unite us, strengthen us. We are Yours.

And with that, Aspirer Retreat 2006 has got a new kick, a new style, a new mission. I also believe that the Devil knows that and will do all He can to stop it. So i challenge you (my friends) to rise above those situation and believe for a great outpouring during this camp. Rise above your circumstances and make the effort to come for the camp and bring a friend. The committee is praying and believing that a revival will soon ignite in our hearts, lives, in our youth and in our church. That will be the day man! And that will only come if we (you and me), can say "Lord I'm willing" As our church has been going thru the Secrets of the Vine - believing that we will be fruitful, that is thus OUR first steps to see revival. RIP - revival in progress. So awaken, oh you sleepers, see the coming of our Lord. The harvest is here. What are you waiting for? Do you want to miss out on the greatest thing that can ever happen to you?

The wonders of technology. I have uploaded the video promo and you can view it here. (you have to click on it to activate the video. will take sometime for to download the video first so pls b patient) The video is less than 3 mins long.

Happy 2006

Blessed New Year! A brand new year has dawn upon us. And for the first time in years I truly believe that this is a new year for new goals, new passion, new start, so many exciting and new things that is ready to pounce in my life. For the first time I believe that this is indeed a fresh new start for so many things to come. And with that I began a list of resolution - something I've never done before. Not in any order:

• Aspirers is to see new beginings, new missions, new growth and expansion, but and evermore increasing passion. So much plans and visions and dreams. Daring to believe and going forth with the confidence that God is with us.
  
• My own career is to head towards my destiny. I've already gone freelance teaching and it's not easy I tell you. But I believe that this is a step of faith and Jehovah Jireh - God will provide. One of the hardest thing I had to learn was to surrender my future to God's hands. (i've always been the in-control type of person. so its hard)
  
• It's also a time of reconstitution - to make ammends for my wrong. To bridge back gaps. To build back relationships.
  
• My spiritual life wants to move forward. Mature in the spiritual things. I've been blessed with many gifts and I want to use it rightly so. There's still lots to learn and I'm ready to enroll as soon as I can. God I want to be right for you, ready for your prunings.
  
• My personal life. Ready to let go of the past and open myself to the things out there - or even right n front of me. Ready to embark new adventures.
  

Indeed this is the solar year of the Dog (my year, meaning i've gone thru 2 cycles of the Chinese solar year). But I don't think it has anything to do with that. I have jus reached that age, that time in my life, where I am ready to accept my destiny, embrace it, move on, forget the past, take a leap of faith.

Christmas BBQ

I somehow got into volunteering to open my house to my Chinese students for a gathering of steamboat-turned-BBQ on the only available date to me - 26th Dec 2005. And so it was.... though I had hoped that more would turn out. I worked hard all day cooking and cleaning. Almost stressed out and then it was time... and it was all worth it. There are no words that can ever express why.

Finally the food was more than the people. So I had to call for reinforcement - my faithful friends in whom I can always depend on. Hahaha!~ And still the food did not finish. For more pictures, click here. Pics are self-explainatory. Hey dear students, if u ever read this, wanna tell u that u are welcome back anytime. just give me a call yea?

I find that the most rewarding thing you can do in life is to work in someone else's life and see them do well. I guess that's why they say that it is rewarding being a parent. I'm a teacher by profession because I chose to make a difference in the life around me. Not to say that I'm perfect but because I too am not perfect and understand the need to have people around me who can love me, support me, guide me, etc. One of the five-fold ministry is to be a teacher. Ah and need I explain more than that?

I'll end this blog session with one thing I learnt in youth ministry: "youth needs to be loved, especially those who least deserve it." Something to think about.

Still plenty piling up in my to-do list. It never ends. It's a vicious cycle. (hahah yes elaine, i just wanted to use that phrase again)

Pre-Christmas Activities 2005

Christmas this time around was so jam-packed with activities that some begin to wonder what it's all about. There was caroling, Christmas Sharing Programme, YAN9 Christmas Celebration, some hd their own family gatherings, Choir at Royal Adelphi. Add that to Christmas Shopping. Many barely felt Christmas and it was over but we realised it. But I guess there are many ways you can view it. Personally I felt the stress like everyone else and praised God when it was over. But to know that what has been done has indeed touched some people and brought about a deeper meaning of Christmas to them, it was ALL WORTH IT.

Christmas Sharing Programme - the first of its kind in Agape. Manypeople volunteered and helped out under the direction of FC (i should call uncle FC actually), and the turn-out can bring tears to your eyes. The aim was to touch the less fortunate with God's love. The event spent out in 3 different days. (Pics on the left)

YAN9 also organized a state-wide celebration for the youths. The theme was ONE, as in we come together as ONE to worship the ONE true God. It was huge and I almost thought we couldn't pull it off. There was seemed to be one hundred and one problems but I thank God it all worked out smoothly. There was barely a glitch. Though we had hope for a bigger crowd but it was not too bad. Especially since most of theplanning was relaly last minute and considering we were really that busy. Some of my students came, and that alone I am thankful. Yipee!! (pics on the right) For more pictures click here. For even more pictures get the CD (it will be ready soon).


Besides that we had our one-day carolling led by Su-Ann. We almost canceled it as we felt to bogged down with other things. But thank God we didn't. I felt that the carolling session did such good that our effort seemed like dust. People were touched by our teeny weeny effort and we KNOW it was the spirit of God moving. Give God your best and leave the rest to Him for it is by His Spirit that hearts are touched not by how well we sing or dance or plan or cook or etc. (no pics available). It also gave an opportunity to many young ones to join (some for the first time).

To top it off, the choir was invited to present in Royal Adelphi on the 23rd and 24th of Dec (yes, Christmas Eve). We took it as an opportunity to spread some Christmas cheer, touch hearts with our music. You never know how God can use us. Seeing as public performances are so rare, we decided to snatch every small opportunity we can to be used by God. The manager was actually impressed with us, admitting openly that he did not expect us to be good. Though the crowd was not that large and mainly taken up by our own family and friends, we were still quite the nervous wreck. People came listened and left. Come and go, come and go. Some remained. But even so.... we leave the miracles to God. (pics below)



And then there was Christmas morn' !! I don't have many pictures on it except for the presentations in the morning. Yes, nobody takes pictures while we are all busy giving and getting gifts. But it would be quite a sight if somebody did. Sometimes Christmas morning feels just like any other Sunday in church except for the gifts and carols. I actually felt quite bored this Christmas as it really did not feel much like a Christmas. But I guess Christmas is not about any parties or gifts or even gatherings. Simply that God became man to walk amongst us. To live to die the cruelest of death just so that He can be with us in paradise. The noblest humblest thing... so simple. And I guess that's why so many people can't believe it. Can't accept it. So much love. (pics below)

Stress Free

The last few weeks, nay, months had been so so hectic for me. It was as though I had no air to breath, no time to sleep, and all that. I was stressed till I felt depressed. I cracked easily. There was so much to do.... I began to loose focus, loose reason, and all that. I would not know where to begin explaining all that I went through the last few weeks, alright months... Church, work, studies, socially, family.... it was just too much. It was pushing me over the brim. And alone I sat and cried.

Today... today I slept long and well... (not counting the fact that i hurt my arm during sleep - don't ask how). I felt less agitated, less tired, more peaceful..... it was GOOD. I feel so rest-ed in a long while. I just took advantage of my break to rest and enjoy the things around me. The simple things. Putting my to-do list aside for a while. it feels so GOOD. it's something i've needed for a long time. Just let my hair down and put up my feet. *stretch*


(an old picture - just for fun)



Since then i have:

1. switched to part-time. I teach only when there's classes. Other than that I don't go to the office. To supplement my income I might give tuition or something like that.
   
2. My room has recently gotten messier (was moving stuff around) but when i'm done it should be more condusive to live and work in. Removing the one-eye monster - source of distraction in my life.
   
3. Gone out more, hung out more, getting my social life back on track, and perhaps a little more than that. Have hung out with students and youth... and combined them at some point too. And i'm happy to see the progress. This is what I want. But I need to do more variety.
   
4. I also exercised more frequently. Jog (ok fast walk) in citypark a couple of times, shoot some hoops. Hope to do some badminton too. Must keep it more regular to stay healthy and it is a good way to reach out.
   

I know what I want in life. I know what I should do in life. A lot of people don't see it and won't agree with it. Especially the income part. But I believe that God has called me to this ministry and though it may not seem so normal... I know if God has called, He will provide. It's not going to be easy and I've always been a person that depended on myself - trying to be independent and all. But this just feels right.

I'm back people!!! And ready for more M.A.D. action next year. It's gonna be an exciting, action-packed year. I can feel it in my blood!! Wohoo!~

Days go by

Hours turned into days.
Days turned into weeks.
Weeks turned into months....
Where did time go?
Where did time go...

Gift of Time

When you fall to your deepest end
When you are in despair
When nothing is in your grasp
You fall on your knees and look to heaven

Lord I have sin and no longer worthy
Have mercy on me
Forgive me my divided heart
Have mercy on me

Then a light shines from heaven
A gentle voice floods the room
Letting me know He still loves me
He thought of me on the cross

He did not take my problems away
But He showed me amazing grace
He gave me the gift of time
Jehovah Jireh, my provider...

Agape means divine love

Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
Still you forgive if only I ask
How many times have You heard me pray
Draw near to me
-All for love, hillsongs

Amazing love,
Crucified, laid behind a stone
You lived to die, rejected and alone
Like a rose, trampled on the ground
You took the fall and thought of me
Above all
-Above All, lenny leblanc

How can it be that You my King would die for me
Amazing love,
I know it's true, it's my joy to honour You
In all I do, I'll honour You
-You are my king

"Greater love has none than he who lay down his life for a friend" - John15:13
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life" - John3:16

24 hours too little

If I hadn't said it already, 24 hours is far too little for me rite now. How do you manage time more effectively without tiring. If I had to spend every waking hour trying to do everything I am supposed to do, I would break down in no time. If not physically then mentally or emotionally or socially. It is a virtual suicide. Things never stop piling up. Clearing the to-do list for one day makes me leap for joy but the list will add on the very next day. It's like a virus!! It's unstoppable

I thank God that I have a God that understands my needs, that takes care of me. I have not felt the pressures of stress even though I believe I should be very. I didnt' fall badly ill: the normal flu that I should get by now is only replaced by a bad case of heatiness and scratchy throat. I have enough rest though I have not had my quota hours of sleep. My work is slowly but surely meeting completion. But there's still a lot... And as for this month.. I just know that I will be max-ed out this month. I'll spare you the torture of reading my list of to-dos. But knowing that God will be with me gives me peace. Knowing that God will find a way where there seems to be no way, gives me confidence. Knowing that I will grow stronger and triumph at the end, makes me persevere.

Isn't God good?

(yea I think I wont be updating my blog so often this month though there's so much I want to write actually.... so many things to blog.. yet)