Identity Crisis

I read that a young adult will go through a phase where he/she questions his path. And he can't blame them for asking. I'm a young adult and have been in and out that phase every now and then. For me I just need to know. Otherwise I feel my world shaking. And though I know that I will always have the security in Christ though my world may fall apart, I can't help but question sometimes. I need to be assured again and again. I need the tangible sense of security.

Being in between worlds knocks a person's senses. You feel like you are standing on a crossroad, except that the crossroad is so overgrown with bushes that you can't quite see where each of them lead. Plus it is quite dark and foggy out there. And you just don't know. Life begin to feel like a merry go round. You keep going round and round. You're just not getting there. It goes up sometimes and down sometimes. You wish that it will just take off like in Mary Poppins.

I used to have a reason to wake up every morning. I used to have a more vivid drive.... Now getting off bed seems pointless. I seem to be waiting, always just waiting..... They're so many uncertainties, questions, fears - that I don't know what to do with it. I wish it were as easy as leaving it at the feet of Jesus. My tendency to worry gets in the way. How then do I know the difference between trust and naiveness; waiting and lazy; God's leading and people's influence.

God pls don't keep me in suspense. I've pledged my life to You and You know I will follow. Lead me I pray. Let me know it's You....