Not My Own

As I was sitting there listening to Rev. Mike Watson (from UK, and he speaks indonesian fluently) share about the beatitudes, he said somethings that struck my chord. You know how some things you already knew but somehow never really KNOW. It's not like I don't know, but at the same time, I never sensed it so real before.

You know how experience can teach you? I learnt two things this camp. (I mean two things that i'm about to share) The first is of my own sensitive nature. I could go blaming everything else in the world, but the problem lies first with myself. The side of me I'm not proud to own to still exist in me. It has lied dormant for a long time now. I don't want to hurt someone I love yet that seemed to have been the case. Lord, take over me as only you can. Can't imagine how people would put up with me. I must have the greatest friends in the world around me.

The other thing was that I no longer belong to myself to be able to fancy doing what I feel like doing. I was bought with a price the day I gave my life to Jesus. What gave me the right to gripe, to complain, to disobey, to walk the other way? I'm bonded by blood. I choosed this path, this road. And I don't regret it. Why would I not want to give my life's control over to the One who made me and that will definitely see me through?

Something I wrote at camp...

Not My Own

I call You "Lord", I call You "Master",
Vowing to go to the ends of th earth;
But when You called I said 'no',
When trouble comes, away I go,
When did I forget

I am not my own,
I was bought with a price,
At the most precious of cost,
My Saviour, Redeemer,
Rescued me and made me Your own,
Now I belong to You

So many times I said 'I love You',
That I want to worship You alone;
But so often things get in the way,
And I made another, 'King',
Why did I forget

I am not my own,
I was bought with a price,
At the most precious of cost,
Emmanuel, Faithful One,
You have called me 'friend' and made me Yours,
Now I belong to You

I stand at the altar and I cry,
I hold hands and I pray,
Yet my heart was far away,
My thoughts turned to another,
Again I forget

I am not my own,
I was bought with a price,
At the most precious of cost,
My Help, My Comfort,
Holy Spirit take over keep me for You,
Cos' now I belong to You

Cos I choose to follow You
I desire to know You more
Cos I choose to honour You
And I know I am Yours...

And another one... (on one of those writing streaks)

You Love Me Still

Yet You love me still
You took my place on the cross
Though You know what I am inside
You love me still
No matter what I do or say
I will always have Your love

You love me
What more will I need?
You love me
What more do I seek?
And You love me
What more can I say?
But You love me
It's never gonna change
That You love me
So I give You all I am
Cos You love me
Hear me sing it now...