Where would I be without You?

Where would I be without You?



I was persuaded to think bout life without God. What would it be like? What would my life have been like if I had not chosen to follow Jesus? If I had chosen to walk out of church at the young age when I was contemplating to, and if God had not answer my prayers and had not found me, what would my alternate life be like?

I could very well be hanging over depression every single day of my life, with no meaning in life.

I'd doubt my self worth and think I'd never amount to anything - proved with the long line-ups of failures.

I'd probably be still living aimlessly in the city, trying to survive while finding myself away from home.

I might have also been in and out of several damaging relationships by now and lost any existing esteem.

I won't have many friends either, I suppose. And with noone to turn to, feel absolutely alone and lost.

So it is to my advantage that God did find me. Thank you Lord for calling me and walking with me, for loving me and always being there for me. As Ps Yong Heng said in class, If it weren't for the call into full-time, life as we know it out there might have destroyed me. So my beloved Jesus, my one and only, and on this day i declare that this life is for you...

Facing myself

Sometimes life circumstances forces you to take a good look at yourself. And as the mirror image looks back at you, do you always see what you want to see? Are you disillusioned of the real picture or do you really see? What if you saw some things that you don't like?

Going through the motions and realizing the flaws doesn't make it easier. Looking for the strength to overcome and become better. You can't change the past and knowing your faults does not make it easier to move on. Thoughts of how to ammend and how to be better floods in, along with life transforming stories of how some people can really turn over a new leaf. The longer you face yourself, the more uncomfortable it becomes. *Squirms*
How can one really face themselves?

Falling into the pit of self-pity, we only moan and groan at the passing circumstance. Small things become big in my eyes and self enlarges itself. When we focus so much on self, we begin to see only that. And we begin to moan about everything.

Facing my God

And then I saw God. I remembered that it was not about me. That myself must decrease in order that He increase. There is no end to self-pity. There is only hope and purpose when we look to God. And realize that our mission is everyone else.

"But remember, sinner, it is not thy hold of Christ that saves thee - it is Christ; it is not they joy in Christ that saves thee - it is Christ; it is not even faith in Christ, though that is the instrument - it is Christ's blood and merits; therefore, look not so much to thy hand with which thou art grasping Christ, as to Christ; look not to thy hope, but to Christ, the source of thy hope; look not to thy faith, but to Christ, the author and finisher of thy faith; and if thou dost that, ten thousand devils cannot throw thee down, but as long as thou lookest at thyself, the meanest of those evil spirits may thread thee beneath his feet... it is not faith, it is not our doings, it is not our feelings upon which we must rest, but upon Christ, and on Christ alone."
-Charles Spurgeon, August 24, 1856.

When I turned my eyes upon my God and look full upon His wonderful face, the things of the world grows strangely dim. When I see the works of His hands and the scars upon His back, I know that I wanna be called forever Yours. There is no other besides You, none can compare.

When my world falls apart, when I can no longer put hope in men, when I have been poured out like a drink offering, then can I see. The Word says we need to be broken and empty when we come before Him, then can we be filled. With so many wants and distractions, how can we see God, unless all that is taken away and we become nothing.... and realize He is everything.

Note:
I wrote this in a span of a few days so the narration may not seem to flow as one thought.