Road Accidents

Malaysia has one of the highest poll for road accidents in the world. More so over the long holiday season. It is almost always the highlight for each holiday season. The number of accidents per day increases over night.

The Star reported that this last holiday season has seen a 16.2 road fatalities despite an increase of 300% in traffic volume. You could say that is a huge improvement. Perhaps the government is starting to achieve something after all. And as the politicians say, as long as there are still people dying of it, it is not okay.

However, I the responsibility of reducing the road fatalities does not fall solely on those in authority and position in this country. Have you noticed that motorist are especially reckless during the holidays. For some reason people thing rules and courtesy don't apply during the holidays. Road becomes a far more dangerous place where drivers seem to loose it. It is no wonder accidents happen at the rate it does. I guess it's true when they say people don't think accidents will every happen to them. No wonder it does. Malang tidak berbau after all. When will people every learn? When indeed....

Seremban's Era Walk

after choir we decided to take a look at Seremban's new Era Walk - a bintang walk cum The Curve concept. As much as they are trying to pull that off with a taste of Seremban, it didn't feel like much. However, I'd give them praise for the design and concept. It's hitting off rather slowly but I kinda see what the developer must have seen. And that is truly visionary.



Perhaps in the near future, when more shops open up and more people decide to take a walk there we'd really see some thing. For now it's pretty dead. So is the food btw.

Stabbed

Oh hey! why stabbing people.... ah well now have to apply treatment.

Another quiz survey thingy. Now for this thingy, whatever it is.

Instructions: Bold if it's true for you. Italicise if you WISH it's true.

I miss somebody right now. (yea all my friends but not that desperately LOL)
I don’t watch TV these days. (Haha, yeah..right..)
I am currently single.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I’ve tried marijuana.
I’ve been in a threesome. (not planning on trying ever)
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. (I wouldn't go straight to psycho but a little crazy sure why not)
I believe that honesty is usually the best policy. (There's a diff between honesty and being direct without tact)
I curse.
I have changed mentally over the last year. (it's a process of maturing)
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I’m TOTALLY smart.
I’ve broken someone’s bones. (does teeth count? it wasn't on purpose)
I’m paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. (what for? i'm perfectly happy with it.
I need money right now. (Who doesnt?)
I love sushi. (Wouldn't say love but i do fancy)
I talk really, really fast. (I'd say considerably but I've learnt to slow down too)
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way I look. (generally lah. Altho i have a few complains here n there)
I have a lot of mood swings. (more like PMS and not that vicious)
I have a hidden talent. (I dont have many, whatever I have now I'm using, whatever I don't GOd hasn't given me or not going to)
I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
I have a lot of friends. (Proud to say yes)
I have pecked someone of the same sex. (Peck? u mean kiss? Yes. Friends what)
I enjoy talking on the phone. (Still much prefer face to face)
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop. (No I don't)
Enjoy window shopping. (that's better. But I tired quite easily)
I would rather shop than eat. (hahah no food comes first)
I don’t hate anyone. (No particular person comes to mind.)
I’m a pretty good dancer. (I know I used to dance a lot but was not particularly good)
I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. (I'm at that age when it's sweet to be seen out with your mom)
I have a cell phone. (who doesnt?)
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I’ve rejected someone before.
I want to have children in the future. (two)
I have changed a diaper before.
I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
I’m not allergic to anything. (I'm allergic to penisillin but it's not fatal)
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger. (been with? means what? date no lah. Hang out with yes lah)
I am shy around the opposite sex. (surprised?)
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past. (never!)
I own the “South Park Movie".
I would die for my best friends. (never came to that kinda situation before to know for sure)
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I am happy at this moment. (overall)
I’m obsessed with guys. (not that kinda girl)
I study for tests most of the time. (what test?)
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced. (Just my ears)
I walk barefoot wherever i can. (yea man)
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I’m proficient in a musical instrument .
I have worked at a McDonald’s restaurant.
I hate office jobs. (What's wrong with them?)
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules. (best drink in the world)
I went to college out of state. (too late for that now)
I like sausages.
I love kisses. (hahahahah this is funny. hhaha i dunno how to answer.)
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours. (currently just think its a nice festive youthful sight)
I can’t live without black eyeliner.
I somehow enjoyed this thingy. (but its taking forever
I usually like covers better than originals. (what??)
I can pick up things with my toes. (but seems i get "nerve pull" there easily i avoid)
I can’t whistle. (its true)
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I’ve ever written in. (it's somewhere lah. except for those i wrote in small pieces of paper)
I can’t stick to a diet. (I don't need to diet)
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. (well it works)
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time. (never can)
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I can’t stand at LEAST one person that i work with. (can't stand is a pretty strong statement isnt it)
I am a caffeine junkie. (almost there i think. hahah)
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is. (What??)
I have been to over 15 conventions. (erm if including seminars, workshops, trainings then yes. Else no)
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better. (mad. A lot of time ah?)
I’m an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary. (When i feel like it)
I like a person of the same sex. (hahah of course. I like my friends. and they are same sex. hahaha)
I love being happy. (Who doesnt?)
I am an adrenaline junkie.

Isolating self to prevent further infection and spreading....
This is a very long list. Tired liow.

A new obsession

Introduced to a new anime, I found it fascinating enough. Thanks Peter.

The title was a little strange "Full Metal Panic" and the lightings a little jarring. Main characters being Kaname Chidori (the blue hair girl) and Sousuke Sagara (the black suit guy in the middle). Not your typical high school life.
The story development was good though and even the characters appealing.
However I found it a little too exposed for any young boy to watch. Even though it is only cartoon, it is nonetheless too exposed.
What I liked about it was the silent love between the two main characters. Captures the audience I guess. You just can't wait to see how it ends.
There isn't much twist to the story, but nonetheless interesting to see the quirky antics of the main characters and like I said earlier, whether the guy is capable of love. LOL.

And I much prefer the serious series to the Fomuffu one.

Obsessions never end in gain. Watching 24 episodes straight in a day is bound to do something bad to your body. And still I went out after that with a throbbing head to watch The Prestige - A most-see film by the way. This is the furthest I've went. By the end of the show I had a throbbing and giddy head, nausea, and all that can be expected from spending the entire day in front of the screen like that.

Lesson learnt? 24 episodes is far too many. And lemon tea helps cure giddy and nausea. And oh I need to go easy on my eye. Am loosing my sight.

Not your everyday testimony

I have a testimony to tell. It gave me renewed faith. I have a story to share.

I was suppose to collect the photostated notes on Friday for the seminar on Saturday before the shop closes for the long holiday. I knew it was closing. I had planned to collect it earlier but I forgot. So I went there after work - the normal time I visit the photostat shop.

So in the midst of panic, Paul said he'd photostate half the bulk in KL (for 8 cents per pc). 70 copies may be too much for one shop in such short notice. The next morning (deepavali morning) I drove around town in a frenzied hurry, searching shop after shop for an opened photostate shop. A small timer will do too. The town was in a buzz, with last minute shoppers, people lepaking for the holiday, and sorts like that. Drivers were being totally inconsiderate (why do drivers think rules don't apply during festive seasons?) . Running out of ideas I opted to search "malls". After much struggle I found parking at KM Plaza (back lane) and ran floor by floor to find the shop.

I caught sight of one. Praise God! I rushed to the shop and pleaded that the lady remained open till I return with my notes. (I only have the softcopy in church and have not even printed it out) She was relunctant but agreed if I would come back fast. 15 minutes I told her. And I dashed to church as fast as I could. I asked God to reserve the parking until I got back (as impossible as that sounds but nevertheless. When you're desperate you're willing to believe anything)I hurried. But in that kinda crowd and traffic, it was quite slow. I returned 45 minutes later, praying she wouold have the heart to wait. Rounding the building for parking was sheer torture. On my second round I jam the brakes and stopped, crying out to God from my desperation, and a car parked next to mine moved. I jumped. I did not see a driver in it. Thanking God I parked. In my hurry I did not notice till later that it was the exact same spot I had asked God to reserve. Impossible you say? Mere coincidence? I highly doubt that.
The shop was still open and kindly photostated the notes. While waiting we chatted and she told me that she had not intend to open that day. She had merely open to photostate something for a friend when I caught her. She never intended for business. Coincidence? I thanked her profusely.

I asked for the receipt and almost froze remembering I have not much cash in my wallet. Though I did not say a word she assured me she would only charge 4cents per page. When I opened my wallet, I found I had the exact amount that was stated on the bill. So I emptied my wallet (save for some smalll change enough for kopi at a roadside kopitiam).

Still think it's coincidence?

Know what I think?

When people get desperate enough and learn to turn to God, God will surely pour out His spirit and answer our cries. God is searching for those who are hungry and thirsty enough so that He can pour out His spirit. That's why revival almost always break out in small towns or villages where people are needy. That's why miracles happen more among the poor.

We live in a generation of plenty. Not in need. Not desperate. Not urgent. That's why we don't see miracles. That's why we don't see God move in our lives. We don't tarry at the altar, we don't really seek Him, we don't even come to God. That's why. Maybe we don't really want to see God move, are not willing to pay the price, don't want to be change.

That day, that morning, I was desperate. Desperate enough.

God still works miracles today.

Blurry days

I don't quite recall what happened or went through my head or what I did exactly the past few days. Even now as I blog it (today is actually 24th but i'm backblogging), I find those few days so far away. Strange isn't it how a few days can feel like a few years ago, and some things a few years ago feels like only a few days ago.

(Makes you wonder about time. Time created by God when he created Heavens and Earth while God lives in a timeless dimension of yesterday today and tomorrow. Mind boggling)

I remember being stressed and depressed. Enough to want to cry. Enough to want to scream. Enough to isolate myself from myself. Finding burdens too heavy, responsibilities too many. Old hurts resurface and my mind running away before my eyes.

But God is good. No one understands me better than God - my Creator.

I spent an entire night on Friday talking to Eunice and it totally lifted my spirits. I don't know why exactly but it did. Spent the whole Saturday busy but I didn't feel it. I came home feeling satisfied enough. Took a bath and felt more refreshed than I had in days.

God is good.

Match Made in Heaven

That's what crossed most if not all of our minds when we heard the good news. Esther and Steven are getting hitched. I've never felt more excited for someone. Maybe it's because I've actually known Esther since like.... forever. I remember we went to Bio tuition together and that was when she used to talk to me bout studying IT.

Looking at Esther and Steven, you just know that God prepared them for each other. You see how perfect they fit for each other and that gives you all the warm fuzzy feeling. I guess they are going to be one of those couples that many people will look to in the future. (I haven't told them this yet)

I wasn't there for the proposal. But those that were are talking. There're pictures, videos and even a powerpoint slide depicting the event. If you're gonna propose in front of such techno savvy and participative crowd, you're gonna expect that. But it was all so incredibly sweet. You may be cheeky, Steve, but I'll salute you for making Esther cry tears of joy.

Haha.. Ok I'll admit. I want that too........

Looking forward to the wedding and bridal shower. We're gonna make Esther cry. Need to remember not to put eye shadow myself.

Trip to Spore

The last time I went to Singapore I was still at my awkward age in my primary years. I only remembered going out with Pastor Nettie, visiting some zoo and aquarium. And staying at Anna Hotel. So if you ask if I've actually seen Singapore I'd tell you 'no I have not'.

This time, without a proper agenda or purpose, I find myself heading to Singapore. Before I knew it I was on a bus heading to Larkin and husling through the daily routine of those crossing the coasway (on the main link). Talk about hassle. But I guess if you're watching your wallet then this is the way to go. I don't think I would even want to think of doing this on my own. I might get lost or forgotten or assulted. Nope, definitely not.

Participants of this adventure: Andrew, Lavinia, Kin Sang, and myself. Of course for the guys this wasn't an adventure.

Day1
Upon arrival, we had lunch at a handmade noodle restaurant. People here speak English or Mandarin. Speaking of which, I've not heard much broken English here. We then headed back to Kin Sang's place at Pasir Ris, where he started ironing his shirt and the rest of us collapsed in front of the tv set. Bummer.

Finally someone stood up and said "let's not waste anymore time here n go see the city" well it was something of that sort. And so with Kin Sang playing hooky, we went to Orchard Rd to just walk. See the sights and the ppl of the city. I noticed that ppl in the city tend to really dress up. Perhaps its a spore kiasu thing or perhaps its a city thing. Of course, this small-town girl is quite ulu and found a lot of simple things quite facinating.


Scan & Listen (Borders); TV Menu (Sakae Sushi); cover for your umbrella; GPS system in taxis

No I didn't buy anything. I noticed that dollar-to-dollar, most things here are cheaper. But after conversion it isn't much different. Perhaps cause the sale is not here yet. Wrong timing. But anyway the only thing I have on my was my credit card, I depended all other cash transaction on my dear cousin Andrew. Yes, dear! Hahha.. So the only thing I bought were the below (silly me, left mine back home)For dinner, I had the opportunity to meet up with VALERIE (I forgot to take pic with u Val) at some frog leg porridge at Lrg 9 Geylang. Looks like the back-alleys of Spore. Since frogs are not my cup of tea, I ate everything else. We spent the nightlife chatting away and eating tau fu fa and yau char gwai. Man...

Even back at the apartment we lived the night away by being online, watching tv, and simply talking with each other. I was the first to head for bed. The tiredness had taken the toll on me.... zzzz....

Day2
We were forced up quite early to follow Kin Sang to work. Aih!~ So off we went grogily to Harbour Front and into McDonalds for breakfast. Why? Oh I don't know. But we spent the ENTIRE morning at that same table eating and talking. Talking mostly (even when Kin Sang joined us for lunch). As though we hadn't had enough of each other yet.

Was only when Pastor Lawrence and Nettie came that we finally stood up and hunted for a place to have lunch. Walking to and fro from Vivo City to Harbour Front, we finally settled for Sakae Sushi where we were joined by Elaine (Tan). We had a great time catching up with the Pastors, talking bout the pasts, recent happenings and future plans. It's been quite some time. All the girls sat on one table and the guys on another. hahaha.... Somethings don't change. Pastor Lawrence treated us.

Kin Sang and Elaine left while we continued hanging around there and meeting up with Lavinia's friend. Some random guy, says she. At least we got the see the sights of the place... Especially the blurry view of Sentosa Island.

We also headed to Bugis and met up with another of Lav's friend. Bugis was a nice place to just hang and walk around. But we only managed to spend over an hour there before we had to catch the bus back home.

And that's ALL I saw of Singapore. *sweat* However, I've determined to come again. Have to anyway. So the adventure will be continued....

For more pictures, click here.

Mid Autumn Festival

Also known as mooncake festival or tang lung (lantern) festival. Falls on the 15th day of the 8th moon chinese lunar calendar. Which is... today! In Chinese it's called the "Zhong qiu" Festival (pronounced 'jong chew'). Honestly, I never knew all that before today.

This is apparently a big day for the chinese people. Families would gather for dinner and children would play outside and walk the streets with their tang lungs. It's a day of celebration (eating mooncakes and playing with lantern or fire). When I was much younger, we played lanterns together too. I had my shares of burnt lanterns. As we grew, all the colourful lantern got boring and we starting playing with candles and fire. Yes, we ocassionally burn our own fingers by accident. (Parents please be wary of your children playing with fire. There's been reports of house burning down by accidents in the past)

But overall, especially now, the festival don't mean much to me. It's a nice time to watch the streets. Parks are beatifully lit with colourful and bobbing lanterns. Romantic.


(pic) Lantern playing after cell. Phone and PDA phone not that good.

But overall, most chinese people themselves have forgotten the initial significance of the festival. There are actually many nonsensical legend surrounding this festival involving a women on the moon. Noone actually knows which the original is. Wikipedia has most of the versions in archive. But the story that my dad told me, seems to me to be the most likely. The story goes that it was during the reign of Mongolian people in China and the people wanted to rebel. So on this night they made mooncakes with secret messages in it and took lanterns into the streets on the pretext of giving mooncakes to all their neighbours. Of course people found the message inside on plans of the rebel and so managed to attack the government. Full story here, scroll down under "mooncake".

Here's a nice scripting trick to wish you all a Happy Mid-Autumn Festival. (that's what I was told the words on the paper said - am illiterate lerrr)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I also discovered (yesterday) that my birthday falls on the 23rd day of the 6th moon chinese lunar calendar. Meaning this year (2006) it fell on the 18th of July. Can i celebrate twice? hahaha... (I used a western-chinese calendar converter to determine the date. These days everything is online)

I know my grandma's chinese birthday is the 5th day of the 5th moon. She never knew her english date. So our family celebrates her chinese birthday - if there's such a thing.

My Car Merajuk

So I got in the car yesterday morning, ready to drive to work. And guess what? The car wouldn't start. Thinking I might have drained the battery by leaving the highlights on, I checked. Nope. I did turn it off. Mann......

Mommm!!!

So I got a ride to work (late) and ride back. So my dad did what rationale people do when car dies. Jumpstart it.

Didn't work.

Dear dear Jamie (name of my car), why are you acting this way? You know I need you.. Please don't get angry. I sent you to mechanic to freshen you up what. I'll wash you soon too..... Please work.

Next day got the battery replaced. Was told the battery died of old age. Oh. Jamie got a battery transplant. I didn't get to witness it. And after recuperating, was back to normal. In fact, better than before. Dear old Jamie.

Note: affection on car is only for this journal purpose. Hahah... I don't have that kind of passion for my car. ;P

Another Craze

Ok this is not my craze but it IS crazy. The haze is back. I repeat, be on your guards, haze is back. I said haze, not Hazel.

Every year or so this condition reoccurs and though every year it will clear, one tends to wonder why it reoccurs. Does noone in authority take more drastic action to prevent this from happening. The newspapers alerts the most hazardous areas to be plagued and the government close down schools in that area. And after some time we happily breathe fresh air again as the haze thins down. But another year rolls by and it comes, yet again. One wonders why.

I guess our government cannot be blame. You can't control what other people do in other people's country. You can only complain. Lately, star reports the condition of haze in Malaysia. In fact the current API (air pollution index) as stated by the Department of Environ is:

NEGERI / STATE	KAWASAN/AREA	MASA / TIME 11.00 am	MASA/TIME 5.00 pm
PERLIS	Kangar	29*	38c
KEDAH	Langkawi	48*	49*
	Alor Setar	32c	70c
	Bakar Arang, Sg. Petani	40*	64c
P.PINANG	USM	36c	56c
	ILP, Perai	53*	60*
	Seberang Jaya 2, Perai	55*	65c
PERAK	Jalan Tasek, Ipoh	40*	54c
	S K Jalan Pegoh, Ipoh	35*	51*
	Kg. Air Putih, Taiping	40*	52*
	Seri Manjung	63*	76*
	Tanjung Malim	56*	67*
SELANGOR	Gombak	72*	84*
	Pelabuhan Kelang	62*	70*
	Petaling Jaya	72*	82*
	Country Heights, Kajang	80*	89*
	Shah Alam	73*	84*
	Kuala Selangor	83*	97*
W.PERSEKUTUAN	Kuala Lumpur	77*	87*
	Putrajaya	83*	90*
	Labuan	88*	78*
N.SEMBILAN	Nilai	109*	116*
	Seremban	107*	106*
MELAKA	Bukit Rambai	100*	101*
	Bandaraya MELAKA	91*	91*
JOHOR	Pasir Gudang	50*	51*
	Larkin	59*	58*
	Muar	92*	95*
	Johor Bahru	66*	65*
KELANTAN	Pengkalan Chepa	47*	49*
	M.Sult.Ismail, K.Bharu	27*	30c
TERENGGANU	Kemaman	67*	69*
	Paka	51*	54*
	Kuala Terengganu	48*	53*
PAHANG	Jerantut	33*	50c
	Indera Mahkota, Kuantan	59*	64*
	Balok Baru, Kuantan	77*	78*
SARAWAK	Kuching	171*	186*
	Sibu	135*	148*
	Bintulu	123*	116*
	Miri	103*	89*
	Sarikei	136*	156*
	Limbang	92*	81*
	Samarahan	177*	191*
	Sri Aman	167*	182*
	Kapit	99*	100*
	Petra Jaya	187*	213*
SABAH	Kota Kinabalu	78*	71*
	Tawau	133*	117*
	Keningau	80*	75*
	Sandakan	70*	69*

Keterangan / Explanation

Taksiran IPU API Indication	Bilangan Kawasan Number of Areas 11.00 am	Bilangan Kawasan Number of Areas 5.00 pm
0-50 Baik /Good	13	5
51-100 Sederhana / Moderate	27	35
101-200 Tidak Sihat /Unhealthy	11	10
201-300 Sangat Tidak Sihat /Very Unhealthy	0	1
>301 Berbahaya /Hazardous	0	0

Looks like Sarawak got hit the worst this time. Take a wild guess where the smoke must be coming from this time. Seremban has reached an unhealthy level as of today.

I took this picture this morning. Almost 9am while at a traffic juntion. It looks worst than it actually is cos well my PDA camera is not that canggih and that I took it through tinted glass. Looks a lot scarier than it actually is. Think this picture pass for some doomsday horror flick?

Final note of caution to Malaysias: drink more water, stay indoors. Sigh* I cant keep up my weekly jogging stint. I actually managed to keep it up for a month now, or more, every week.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On another note, I found that Seremban is not that invinsible after all. It is recognized on Wikipedia - a free comprehensive online encyclopedia, and with updates on the town and development as well. Not bad i would say. Muahah... Seremban is no longer dead nor unheard of. There used to be once when people would reply "Where? Melaka ah?" when told of Seremban. We'd need to say "No, half hour from Port Dickson." Despite many comments to Seremban being dead, I'm still a big supporter of this town. How many towns you know where people flock back from KL (where they work) every weekend.

In Secondary School, I wrote an essay about Seremban entitled "The Blooming Fu Yong". If you don't know yet, Fu Yong is a small blooming flower, the name given to Seremban by Chinese people. Of course, most of what I said then is no longer applicable with the sudden bloom and development of the town. The jams, and the major makeover. But as Joshua once put it, "it's neither city nor village - something awkwardly in between."

You gotta appreciate that.

Object of Obsession

There's been many songs written stating that the girl/guy is the object of the other party's obsession. And the word obsession itself has not been viewed in a very positive light. And I admit, it is not a very positive thing. Every waking moment is spent thinking or fussing over that object. One can loose sleep and food over that one object. Priorities get mixed up, in fact one can totally forget one's responsibilities, obligations, and so on. Need I go on? We all have our own objects of obsession every now and then.

And to me, it is very real.

It becomes an addiction, an obsession till that thing is over. A book for example. I'll spend sleepless night over it. That's why I only read like 1 novel every 3 or 4 months. I really loose sleep to finish it. Or a movie (not so bad) or a series. If i ever get hold of an entire series, sleep goes out the window. The worst series marathon I ever had was Friends (season 1 till 10). (no wonder the eyesight). A game or even a hobby. A person is not excluded, of course.

My latest obsessions:

Samurai 7 Anime
Date: 22nd - 25th Sept

Diner Dash 1 and 2 (PC game)
Date: 2nd Oct till now.

Am I nursing my obsessions / addictions here?

Why can't my obsessions be on the right things? Lik obsessed with praying for the youth or the nation or something like that. Obsessed with learning maybe? Obsessed with God perhaps?

Spirit is willing flesh is weak. crap.