Working in Church

I've been hired to work in church office for an entire month to Easter. Though I am gonna be solely for Easter Musical 2006 project - everything from answering enquiries to arranging stuff (every capalang thing) - I think I will have time to also help with so many other things. People are dumping stuff on me. Not that I'm complaining. In fact I'm used to being overloaded. Again not that I'm overloaded - yet.

But something is happening and I'm begining to wonder what. Where is God leading me? Where does He intend me to talk? I wanna hear His voice and know His specific Will in my life. But I'm not hearing very clearly. Perhaps I need more assurance, more confirmations. Hanging in between two dangerous lifeline.
My life has never been so blur. Never been so unsure. I've reached the crossroad... now I need to go somewhere or no where. Pastor Bob Stevenson prophesied that doors will start opening in my life. I've been waiting so long. And I can't wait to start of into it - whatever this new path for me is.

Easter Musical

Our Easter Musical is underway. Practices have become four hours every Sunday, more for some. But we all know the long and tiring process will pay off. There are now 230+ volunteers helping in one way or another for this Musical. That's 2/3 of the church and it is an awesome sight. Plans are being made and executed everyday. There are so much of things to look into now that it could blow your mind. Thank God for professional event organizers in our team. God has blessed us with many many talents.

What makes these people spend so much time and money for this? There is so much work involved. The making of costumes, learning to makeup, preparing the food for refreshement, staring at the computer screen for hours to design and plan, to practice exhaustively and over and over again, planning and thinking and organizing, to go out of our comfort zones to do so much. But why would anyone do that? Isn't there better things to do? Adults in business, students facing exams.

It is ridiculous for many. The thought of spending the only free day of the week not sleeping at home. So why do they do it? Why do I do it?

Because we believe. Come and see what it's all about this Easter.

Identity Crisis

I read that a young adult will go through a phase where he/she questions his path. And he can't blame them for asking. I'm a young adult and have been in and out that phase every now and then. For me I just need to know. Otherwise I feel my world shaking. And though I know that I will always have the security in Christ though my world may fall apart, I can't help but question sometimes. I need to be assured again and again. I need the tangible sense of security.

Being in between worlds knocks a person's senses. You feel like you are standing on a crossroad, except that the crossroad is so overgrown with bushes that you can't quite see where each of them lead. Plus it is quite dark and foggy out there. And you just don't know. Life begin to feel like a merry go round. You keep going round and round. You're just not getting there. It goes up sometimes and down sometimes. You wish that it will just take off like in Mary Poppins.

I used to have a reason to wake up every morning. I used to have a more vivid drive.... Now getting off bed seems pointless. I seem to be waiting, always just waiting..... They're so many uncertainties, questions, fears - that I don't know what to do with it. I wish it were as easy as leaving it at the feet of Jesus. My tendency to worry gets in the way. How then do I know the difference between trust and naiveness; waiting and lazy; God's leading and people's influence.

God pls don't keep me in suspense. I've pledged my life to You and You know I will follow. Lead me I pray. Let me know it's You....

Never too old to learn new things

In the course of the week, I attended two different courses a.k.a. seminars. And it was good. Who says you are too old to learn? I love learning stuff. Will love it even more if it doesn't cost that much and preferably no exam. They say in NZ you could learn for life. And at the barest minimum. Isn't that awesome. If I had that sort of opportunity, there's just so much that I want to learn.

Not sure if it was too much on the brain though. You feel you want to learn all you can. Your brain feels like a sponge, it can at first absorb so much.. but soon it begins to feel difficult. You have not after all finish digesting the earlier one. I remember there were some seminars I attended with arms folded, thinking what have you got that I don't already know. Pride. I've learnt that there always is something to learn. And only a receptive heart will receive the most. And now I remind myself all the time that "I want to learn". And truly I do. I want to have a teachable heart, humble and willing. Then I will grow!

The two things i attended was: DISC profiling and the Million leader Mandate.

DISC profiling: I learnt bout how God created people with variety and that it was good. Our personality is made up of our character and our temperament, of which only the character can be changed, whilst the temperament is a inborn setting. That temperemant is what we know as the DISC.
D - dominant, risk takers, hot tempered, confident, driven
I - influential, sociable, easily distracted, spontaneous, procrastinator
S - steady, stable, hate insecurity, slow to change, loyal
C - compliant, perfectionist, systematic, thorough, sensitive

After a short test, I found myself to be a high S (also known as phlegmatic) with secondary D and C. This test helped me understand myself better and hope to improve what I lack. I also learnt how to work with people of other temperaments. understanding people's temperament help me be more patience towards others as well as work in our best interest. Knowing that we are created the way we are for a specific purpose. God used various temperament leaders for different situations and God's methods of handling people were examplary.

Did you ever realise that God spoke to Moses (Compliant) thru a burning bush and not a light from Heaven while Paul (Dominant) needed that light. Realise how God very slowly guided Abraham (Steady) out of the land he was dwelling while he told Paul (Dominant) to rise up and go. Noticed how Jesus asked Peter (Influence) over breakfast three times the same thing while he patiently answered all of Moses' (Compliant) questions. Isn't it amazing that God understands us perfectly and chooses to work with us at our level?

Million Leader Mandate (MLM): "Everything rises and fall on the leadership" says Dr John Maxwell. It takes a lot to be a leader. And all the more a Christian leader need to be equip to be effective. A leader's ministry is the people and that's why all the more we need to do it well. We are after all leading people. Should not a Christian be the most charasmatic of people, what more a Christian leader. Whoever said it was easy? There's just so much, from God's call to having a passion and vision, from communicating well to people skills, from effecient strategic planning to setting priorities. MLM was formed to train effective Christian leaders to lead.

According to its statistics after 2000 years only 30% of the world's population is a Christian. Something is so wrong man. Why have we become stagnant in our faith? I have also believed that effective leaders can bring its ministry to greater heights. I have always felt that I was never equipped enough and thus strive to learn more from wherever I can. I also believe in training and equipping my leaders in the Word and in skills so that we can be more effective for Christ. Being in a leadership position is not just a title and will benefit noone if we are all agreeable. It's time to shake the bees nest. It's time to rise up and make an impact and a difference to the people around us.

Another day in the city

It's back to where the city never sleeps. It was like a horrid adventure that I traveled all the way up on bus and LRT. It makes me appreciate the luxury of cars that I enjoy so very often. I was so uncomfortable and squashed that Hazel's car looked so welcoming that I could hug her. Imagined I was squashed to the point I could not reach my handphone when it rang.

Back in the city, people persuaded me to stay. Join the city life it seems. It's actually not that I love the city so much. Perhaps at time I was merely trying to get away from all that my life represents. Maybe I needed to refresh myself, catch a breather. Maybe it was people I needed back into my life once in a while. I don't know what it is... but I thank God that Hazel has made her home available to me whenever I need it. Though it cost money, though it is a little more trouble, I still find it wonderful to go up sometimes..... Just to be.

I like seeing things. It's like feasting my eyes. There's so much beauty around to see. After torturing my feet walking around town on heels, we arrive at Luna Bar - a top floor, open air hangout. It looks like a high class, exclusive club things that people go too after work to hang and have cocktail or a business pool party. I felt a little bit awkward as I was more like crashing. And being short on cash at that moment, we did not dare order a single thing. However, the sight was one to behold. The pool right in the middle reflected the moon that was just above. You could see the entire city from there.

Do I hear the call of the city? Only at times. So thank God I live close enough to indulge once in a while yet far enough not to be eaten by it.

Pictures will be uploaded soon as Hazel gives them to me.

Purposeful living

Stepping in the working world throws us with many questions. Questions bout our life, our future, ourselves. And many enters a dilemma if not a crisis. One looks for where to belong, what to do with life, what it all means.... Unfortunately, many never finds this answer.

I was just thinking bout this these few days as the topic arose a few times. As I watch my friends around me, I can only say that though my future is not secure, though I don't exactly know how or what to do at times, I can assuredly say unto anyone that I know where I belong, I know my purpose for living. And I praise God for that. Knowing the person that I am, I can only thank God that He has revealed His purpose for my life years ago and I no longer doubt.

Living to make a difference, every decision I make in my life, God is directing me somewhere specific. There are still so many questions but I am not fearful for my future is in His hands and I know that the Creator of my heart has only the best plans for my life. I'm doing what my life is meant to do and what else can be more fulfilling? Like a instrument being used for exactly what it was created for. I have no regrets. No matter what people will say, I'm running after you.

I have no intentions of returning to a fulltime job. I know I'm walking in the right direction.

City lights

With the recent price hike on petrol, (read it) traveling had suddenly become more painful than before. You begin to really feel the pinch. Some people complain, nobody rejoices. My kembara drinks petrol so I felt it too. I began to think of all the times i chaffuered people around and what my dad had always said. Think think. There must be other ways to conserve fuel. So I'm beginning to opt to more carpooling whenever possible.

I have this tendency also to want to go up to KL. Yes, Seremban can be boring, I agree. However, I have no plans to live elsewhere. That doesn't mean I can't visit the big city every once in a while to just get out a little, see the world, and all those things. I mean at my age, you'd understand. The city lights do have some lure. I am totally aware though, that going to the big city also means loosing extra cash. Not something very pleasant to think about. Yet, I still want to go. Hmm.. this is hard.

There's only one thing to do. Think of a way to go up and still save money. I opt for public transportation. It is so much cheaper. But that means no more flexibility. Well you've gotta sacrifice something. Food is somewhat inevitable when you're in the big city. There's stil such thing as cheap food but hey I go all the way up to eat things I can have back in S'ban? sounds weird. Accomodation is not a problem as Hazel has up till now offered her couch. But I don't feel nice always staying at her place. Maybe once in a while I might think of staying with Esther or Lavinia instead. Might actually be fun if they're not working late. I sure thank God that I am still able to go up every now and then.

Ohyes, here's an interesting logfile: The Adventure of the Couch

• 1st Visit - could not sleep. too noisy if balcony window is opened. too stuffy if balcony window is shut.
• 2nd visit - close balcony window and turn up the fan speed. slept! woke up. could not sleep again. neck very pain from the couch arm.
• 3rd visit - used two pillow and slept on couch base instead. no neck pain. could not sleep. was too stuffy with balcony window closed. Searched entire hall for the fan remote. Found it at 2.45am.
  
• 4th visit - nex wk. wonder what adventures the couch holds for me.
  

THey say experience is the best teacher. Experience makes us a little bit wiser, a little bit stronger. It sure colours your life.

Picture courtesy of David Yeow.