Church Camp Report

Camp Working Committee

When I said working committee, I really meant working. If you're in this for the glamour, we've got news for you. The work can be killer, as FC and Sally will tell you. But as we pray each time, God we're doing this for your glory.

Being once again in the committee brings a whole new meaning to responsibility. This year it seems, work was more than overloaded. It tested us physically, mentally, and for the most of us at an emotional level as well. There were more campers than we could handle. Personally, I was challenged in all areas of my being.

20th Aug - Advance Party

We went a day ahead of the others.

I trusted my life into the hands of this:
*shivers*

The original 4hours journey up took far far longer this particular day due to road closure and accidents. We left Seremban at 9am and after a very short detour to KL for late breakfast and Ipoh for late lunch, arrived at Taiping 10minutes before 6pm. 9 hours! Talk about a LONG journey.

And no we didn't party. We went to work (I've already established this point). We had to pack the welcome packs and gifts, and check all last minute logistics as well as ALL the rooms. We spent a total of 20hours there (6hours sleeping, 2hours eating, 1hr praying, and almost the REST working)

However, besides only working, we were dragged out of our bed early in the morning for prayer. Deep in our hearts, we each knew this was important. Perhaps it was because we were so tired that we felt desperate for God. Deep in my heart I knew I wanted Him, I needed Him, and camp would simply be torture if Jesus wasn't with us. And when we prayed that morning, all our hearts broke loose and there was such peace and satisfaction in being in His presence. God's spirit was there with us to strengthen us, anoint us, and lift us up for the coming camp. God has been so good and our hearts were so filled. It had been so long since I felt God in that manner. In such a real and tangible way.

WOW! Isn't that what this is all about?

21st-24th Aug - The Camp

The most part of camp for me was spent doing what I was meant to do - work. On top of the general and the sudden extra work, I wanted to spend what time I have with the youth or to do what a good youth leader should. You will be amazed how hard that can be. To balance what you have to be and what you want to be and what you need. Making the right choices can be so hard. And not always rewarding. To me it didn't matter very much what people said or think as long as I knew what I was doing was right. But again, it's never easy. How do you learn to balance? It's so lonely at the top. Or perhaps it's just growing up.

I spent so many moments during worship and altar call unsatisfied. My heart was reaching out to God in desperation and it felt like I was falling short each time. God I'm here, do You see me? Do You hear me? I felt so many hearts around me breaking and aching. I felt my heart breaking and aching. I cried so many times till my heart could no longer contain it. All walls broke down at camp between God and me.

I also held the youth and I prayed for them. I watched out for them and was proud when I saw them crying out to God. To hear how they sought God, to see how they loved one another. Yet it broke my heart to see them ache in that way or when I had to be strict. I wished I was a better leader, and had more time, and more guts. Wished I could impart more, walk closer with them, and be there for them. And pray that they will realize that God is there for them - closer than a friend, more able than our father, sovereign and in control of yesterday today and tomorrow. That there is purpose in God and life is worth living for Him.

Post Camp

I left camp feeling more tired than ever. My heart had sunk to a lower state (for personal reasons) as depression began to sit in. I was going to fall sick soon. My world was spinning out of control in my mind. And though I seem I've got it all figured and in control, I wasn't. I couldn't make sense out of me. Despite what I said, what I did, what people saw in me. It wasn't enough for me.

You can only pretend so much. But friends who are true will always catch your heart when you fall. Even if they can't be there for you or don't know how, they still know. And they will pray and remember you. And you know that when you are ready, they are still there. God is good.

But friends of the same faith, some battles you have to fight on your own. Thank you for caring... Thank you for understanding and praying. Thank you for just knowing. That alone helps.

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That's all I'm rajin enough to do...