Heartbreak Dreamer

Have you ever wondered what Jesus really died of? I mean obviously all that scourging and torture but what really killed Jesus? You could physically torture someone but you can't break his/her spirit. With the right amount of love and support, I believe we could endure just about anything. Right to the point of death, we'd still be very much vigorous and "alive". But without it, one could be physically alive yet dead inside.

I think Jesus really died of heartbreak: his close friend(s) betrayed him, denied him, abandoned him. Even his father turned his back on him at the hour he needed the most. Sometimes I think the most cruel means devised by men was not any weapon but an attack to the heart. And you know, everyone is doing it. There are so many people walking around feeling all alone in this world, and heartbroken. Inside they have already died.

Isn't it tragic?

With so much heartbreak in this world, it feels like such a hopeless case. Yet we are all forced on this earth to live and breath. To walk a life we don't understand. Can you hear the cries of the people? So many voices just crying out, seeking for love and attention. So much pain. Souls are dying.

I'm a dreamer. Sometimes I don't know if that's my becoming or undoing. Perhaps both. I can envision things yet to come and thus help in my planning and organizing and yet I can create ridiculous situation in my brain that could destroy my own heart later. It could go both ways.

It's funny how I learned a big lesson from two very silly children's show today alone.
'Sharkboy and Lavagirl' thought me that when dreams become a reality, reality becomes a dream. As in when a dream has been realised and made real, whatever that was real at that time becomes a past and a dream.
What happens to a forgotten dream?
It's never really forgotten, it can still become real.
What do you do with a crushed dream?
You just make new ones. Salvage what you still can and make new ones over crushed ones.
'Meet the Robinsons' taught me to keep moving forward instead of being occupied with a failure. Though I've always known all this but somehow today it has more meaning to me than before. (who said movies are a waste of time? LOL)

God knows how to get our attention, doesn't he? God is so creative, the way he reaches and gets personal with us. He'd do whatever it takes to get our attention and remind us. But I guess it's like King David said, better to be in the judgment hands of God than in the enemy's hands, for His mercy is great. So I will take heed.

Time to sweep up shattered dreams, rebuild forgotten ones and new ones. And move forward.

Lord it's time I take my eyes of my own hurts all the time. What I really want or don't get or feelings or things that don't matter as much. I'll leave those in your hands. I need to focus on what's more important. Help me learn to be wholly devoted to you. Help me trust you alone. Help me understand what is in your heart. Let what breaks your heart, break mine.