Culprit

It is official. I asked Pastor. This is the coffee that has so much caffeine that even though you drank it in the morning, the effect lasts through the night.

If caffeine effects you, stay away from this.
If you're a student and need to study all those last minute hours during exam, then try it. Don't be too ambitious. A little will do the trick.

First Love

I have lost my first love.

The more I think about it, the more I find it to be true.

"Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love." (Rev 2:4)

The more I hear about it, the more I know.

Yet I am my biggest problem.

(Romans 7:14-25)

"We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin"

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

Weak. Sick. Gone.

Unlike Utada Hikaru's bittersweet memories of love lost, mine does not have to end that way. In fact, it doesn't have to end at all. True, my life will always be a constant battle, mountains and valleys experiences, running sometimes and crawling other times, winning some and loosing some. But that's life. And I know that for as long as God is with me, as surely as He lives, I will still run this race.

How Great is Our God

Antares is the 15th brightest star in the sky.
It is more than 1000 light years away.

.
As I see these facts, I think about how awesome God is. People think that science and God don't go along but I feel that science only strengthens the existence of a Creator. Notice the furthest star is the biggest. Well cos the light needs to travel so far to reach earth. hahaha.. isn't it just amazing how everything is put together? The whole universe.

When I see the beauty of a sunset's glory
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved by a God so high
What can I do but thank You
What can I do but give my life to You
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
What can I do but praise You
Everyday make everything I do
A hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah
-What Can I do, Paul Baloche

How great is our God,
Sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see
How great, How great
Is our God
- How Great is our God, Christ Tomlin

Agapeline

It's that time again where Agapeline's dateline is dued and the compiler, as usual, has little time to put it all together. Every time this period comes, I get frustrated. Wanna pull some hair, throw something out the window. This much stress can't be good. Thank God I don't face it that often.

But something needs to be done. I don't believe in letting things be. I don't believe in quitting without trying either.

Check out the latest Agapeline which will be distributed on the 1st of Oct.

Caffeine

Caffeine... I'm finding it a very interesting "drug". It reduces fatigue, restores alertness, stimulates the central nervous system so that we can be more effective and better coordinated. Some people claim it doesn't affect them at all and some say it effects them tremendously. For myself, it does what the encyclopedia says. For what the encyclopedia says, click here.

But here's what I'm thinking...

Caffeine's effect on me is good in the sense that I'm less lethargic, more focused thus more effective, able to multitask better, better coordination, more energized, more positive expressions. Overall, I'm more efficient, more useful, less depressed, get more things done, sleep less too.

I want to increase my caffeine dosage but I'm worried bout side effects. So here I am reading up on the side effects first and weighing the consequences.

No, I'm not addicted, not nervous or irritable, no heart palpitations, or muscle twitching as of yet. But I am insomaniac and thus have caffeine-related sleep disorder. In the long run, is it worth it? And what if the effects drop and I have to increase the dosage. At one point it must be bad for me. What if it starts to mess up my organs. I think I need to find a balance and keep it for emergencies.

But as far as I can remember, every morning I wake up grogy. That's why I take coffee to stay alert at work. And if I have lunch that afternoon I'm sleepy again, so coffee is to keep me... alert. And no, I don't take more than one cup a day if I can help it. And this is what I normally take.

Aspirers' 23rd Anniversary BBQ

Aspirers.... It means to be a people that long after greater things. To dream and desire to achieve something. (Not each day pass you by without a purpose). The online free dictionary defines it as to have a great ambition or ultimate goal, to strive toward an end, to soar. Wordnet defines aspirers as an ambitious and aspiring young person.

We call ourselves The Aspirers. The question is, are you a true Aspirer? A people of great destiny. A people of hope. If you think you don't fit the category above, let me assure you that in CHRIST you HAVE a purpose, a destiny and a hope. And we are not to compare our purposes cos we will never see it’s worth through our eyes. We need to see it through Heaven’s eyes. Our youth group's name means something more than just a bunch of young radical people, you know.

As we celebrate our 23rd Anniversary, let us reflect again on the many years behind us that God has been so faithful. Ask any veteran Aspirers (young adult who has been through Aspirers) and they will tell you how God has been faithful to Aspirers, to see it grow in so many ways. But at the same time, let us today (yes you and me), look ahead to what God can do to and through Aspirers. Let us look forward to the many more years ahead (if Jesus’ tarries His coming) that God is going to bring us to a higher level of spiritual maturity as a group. Let us not be spectators but be a part of this army in Christ. To rise up, to march forward, to make a difference. Amen? Ask not what God can do for you but what you can do for God.

Through this year, we have challenged you to DARE to believe in greater things. Dare to dream, dare to hope, dare to care, to love and to make a difference. Indeed to become a true Aspirer, we've challenged you to go beyond your comfort zones, to take up positions you never saw yourself in before and to stretch your limits and faith like never before. And through it we've seen how, though we are young, we can accomplish great things for God. Amen? We CAN be responsible young people. We ARE BLESSED with many talents and skills. (the entire dance team are youths, half the choir are youths, the entire children church worship team are youths, We also CAN do all those things that people don’t think we can do. We can aspire to be polite, pray, encourage one another, testify, be role models, to be holy.

Are you truly an Aspirer? Let me ask you what do you aspire? What is it that you want most? What’s most important, that you can’t live without? Are you aspiring the right things - The things that are going to matter, going to last? Do you aspire to be the best surgeon in the world or to save lives? Do you aspire to be a famous lawyer or fight for justice? Do you aspire to be hip and happening or to do His will? Will you let the world sweep you along in the latest gossips, trends, believes, pressures or will you take a stand, plant your roots deep that no whirlwind can unearth, have a passion so strong that people can feel. Are you gonna just sit there or choose today that you are going to be an aspirer? Are there any aspirers here today? Let me challenge you to aspire to inspire.

Once Again

Cell lesson today was about how desperate are we really? We can sing it but do we mean it? I know I'm guilty of not being desperate enough. I'd cry at the altar and my spirit is really yearning. But when the day continues... I don't get on my knees and pray... I guess I'm just not desperate enough to see revival come.

And this is my prayer...

Once Again

What do i have to offer my king
I'm humbled by your awesomeness
I've come to that place in my life
Where i see my drags and rags
and i need you more than ever
and i'm getting desperate

Once again, Lord Jesus
Fill me once again
Once again, sweet spirit
Stir my heart
in the deepest place
Once again take over
take control I pray
Once again, O Father, once again

Hear us once again

Once again pour out, O Lord
your spirit and your grace
Let your glory be shown
Once again we gather
to worship and adore
Once again draw men to you

Let revival come...

Random2

My ex-housemate cum friend cum ex-colleague (Suzy) sent me a mail recently regarding a new forum she started. The forum and site is owned by one the kindergarten kid's parent whom I used to know. If you don't get any of the above, nevermind.

The point is, I found my picture on the website. The website is a tribute to the daughter, who is 4 or 5yrs old, I believe. Obviously she did not create the website (in fact Suzy did). But she has her own site! It was actually a smart marketing tactic of the father's to link the site to his site.

The last time I saw Mercedes (the kid), she was still just as tiny and adorable. I guess the dad loves cars so much that he named his kids after them.

To see Mercedes' site, click here. Then scroll down to see my pic.

Leaving Legacies

When we leave this world, what will we be most remembered for? How would we have changed humanity or at least the people around us? Would we have fulfiled what we've been created for? Do we leave behind a legend for scholars and story tellers? As Pastor Sally has constantly repeated, I wanna leave behind a legacy. A passion that people have caught, a work that people will continue to do, lives behind me that have been changed. I want to be remembered for the work I did and the God I serve. That is most important. Steve Irwin passed on. (link courtesy of signius) And I believe he left a legacy. Though people remembered his antics but I think what he left behind was more than his famous words and hyperactive antics. What he did when he was alive will continue to change the world. Most of us wont even notice or never have heard of his conservation efforts as a naturalist and enviromentalist, trying to preserve and save the wildlife while educating the world about them. May his Australia Zoo live on in memory of his families life work. I wanna live each day with a purpose. With a determination to leave a legacy in Jesus' name.

Random

Ok It's monday and I'm having my off day. I didn't do anything I had originally planned to do today. I basically blamed it on the fact that my limb muscles (both legs and hands) are aching and basically walking became painful (this started on Saturday and have only been getting worst). Too tired maybe? After all, the entire weekend was packed with activities. Also my toes are currently covered with blisters from last night.

Even after the AG Ordination Service last night, I was too stubborn to call it a night. Dragged myself straight for a nights out with Lavi and gang. Exhaustion was already eating me up. Halfway through the bowling game, I had to call it a night. Excused myself and went home.

Or maybe i'm just making excuses, cos i'm lazy. Cos I know if I really wanted to I still could. Or maybe I'm' just..... yea lazy.

Oh btw, designs are getting crazy these days. Or some prefer the word creative or innovative. Yes, I think the watch below IS creative but I could never wear it. Hahah.. Can't get use to seeing time like that. Watch belongs to David Kok.

Ladies' Hi Tea

The response was out of expectations. Over 100 ladies showed up for this unexpectedly larger than life event. I was actually ecstatic over the idea in general. To have smaller sub-events in church that can reach the people. Touching people changing lives. Reaching to the lost, and building those in the family. Isn't that what it's all about? That's one of my larger visions (as in my part to play in this church). To help in it.

We have very skilled people in this church. I wanna emphasize that we are VERY blessed with ALL KINDS of talents in this church. So many. So so many. People just don't realise or perhaps take for granted. But I am awed by it. Always have been.

The Culinary... and The Decorations.
(pics too small? click on it to see the bigger version. Really worth admiring!)

The Doorgifts... (hand made placard)

* Pictures courtesy of Kin Sang's handphone

The event in itself was awesome. With Rev. Becky and Denise leading the way after the awesome first class hi-tea (that I barely got to taste!!) Their ministry is to be admired. I think I was walking up and down too much that I did not pay enough attention to the sermon. That is my regret...

Thank You Lord (part 2)

It was just another Friday: rushing work for the next day's event, lunch with Hazel, driving around a very jammed town for errands... and my air cond breaking down and engine dying.... ??

wohhh hold on a minute.. that is not normal.

But God was faithful again. We took alert when I was dropping Hazel off. To cut the long story short, the mechanic came and diagnosed the problem.

And I got a lecture....

I forgot to add water and oil. There was literally none left.

The mechanic also discovered a cracked pipe and fixed the problem. After an hour and a half and RM60.00 and some of Aunty Lim's tea and noodles, I was finally on my way.

God is faithful. Imagine if I drove on. The car would have overheated and the engine might have exploded... so I was told.

City Above the Clouds

Sponteniety is so not me. It would literally drive me crazy if you don't allow me to plan, even if it's just with myself. I have this obsession to plan. And I guess that is why I take so long to decide somethings.... especially if they are really important in my life.

That is why, I decided to leave it to them this time.

And so we went all the way up the hills to where the entire Malaysia gathered. (It's crazy this time of the year) Andrew, Jenny and myself came from Seremban, whilst Kin Sang, Lavinia, Joanne and Elaine Goh from KL.

We did not do any of those things commonly done in Genting (theme park or Casino). Nope, our entertainment was ourselves. We walked around a lot, ate a lot. And sat around a lot. It was really a refreshing time to just relax, not think of work or the things we need to do. It was refreshing to just hang and laugh. I guess it is so important to find time to relax, re-energize, realign our thoughts, re-orientate ourselves. And to stay young. But I guess it's easier if your friends are like these:

More pictures here.

Merdeka

Happy Independence Day! Malaysia is 49yrs old and soon to hit its golden jubilee. And I managed to read most of the newspaper today - surrounding topics on Independence. One article in which I liked was written by Azmi Sharom on The Star about what Merdeka really means to us today. And I believe that if such spirits and convictions leave within each Malaysian, we'd really go far, instead of the constant bickering and empty remarks made by some of our top politicians.

But, let's not start on that. I'm sure most people have already heard comments on that more than once. I want to state some of the things that I love about Malaysian. And I find that what I love about Malaysia is very similar with what most Malaysians love about Malaysia. Here goes:

(not in any order)

1) the variety of 'rojak' food. Some called it fusion cos its so mixed that it has to be unique by itself. Some find the mixture of food grotesque but I think it makes it truly Malaysian.

2) the types of food we actually have. From Klang Bak Kut Teh, to Ipoh Chicken Rice, to Seremban Beef Noodle. Some people literally go all the way to Penang for that Asam Laksa. It's all about food here, and you can find food at any time of the day or night on any day.

3) the language. Most Malaysians speak at least 2 languages. I myself can understand and speak about 5 (including dialects). But the unique thing is when people have 3 languages in one sentence. (and it's a common phenomena) "Ay sai tumpang me go there ah" and new words like "sampat-ing" and "malu-fying".

4) the diverse and rich culture. From the traditions and the clothes. The new generation that don't mind who's culture they are practicing is emerging. We all know each others and celebrate each other's celebration together. Multi-culture society that is truly emerging and mixing yet retaining it's own culture.

5) home-grown cultures. Things like mamak-ing that you don't find anywhere else in the world.

Dislikes? Yes of course I have. But that's not for today.

My Parents' 25th Anniversary

25 yrs ago my parents got married. They were 24. And what is going through my mind right now? I'm imagining my mom at 25yrs old, holding a few month old baby me....

And today's my daddy and mummy's 25th anniversary. That's SILVER anniversary.
(Considering my parents' got married in Agape the year it started)

We celebrated in Windmill - a nice, very filling dinner. And that was it. I was hoping for some roses and romantic actions. But there was none. Sigh. Almost planned it for them too... if only I thought of it earlier. Aigh! Silly me.

God Is Faithful

'Twas the night before this. I laid in my bed prepared for slumber. My minds had started turning to thoughts of the day and the next day, as it does every night. Thoughts that turned to dreams and hopes, things that will never come or might one day come true. Thoughts of the past and what has been or could have been.

Then it hit me. Oh no! It was my turn to do staff devotion the next day. And I've got nothing prepared. It was half past midnite and I was all tucked in bed. Thought to myself that I will wake up early to prepare. What should I prepare on? The only thing that was in my head at that time was that God is Faithful (inspired by Aunty Jenny's msn message). And 'twas my devotion.

1) God is faithful to forgive our sins.
2) God is faithful to see through the plans in our lives to the end - He doesn't give up on us.
3) God is faithful to rescue us in our times of need.

God is faithful even when we're not. What do you do or say when faced with such devotion from God? What can I do but thank Him, give my life to Him, praise Him, make everything I do a hallelujah.

And now I'll add another (this is what aunty Jenny actually wrote on her MSN)
4) God is faithful to the next generation.

R.AGE - the Spirit of KL

Big fan of Amazing Race? Imagine a local one by local people in our dear old KL City. That's what R.AGE is all about. Receiving tremendous responses by the local KL-ites, it tests one's knowledge of KL (all the local food and places), endurance and perseverance (in the KL heat and traffic jam), and the basic street-wise instinct.

Wanted to watch it on TV. But somehow never found out the time it shows. However, it is on the blog. Not a very good blog. Anyone knows where I can watch episodes of them. Sounds very interesting.

Thank You Lord

It was a normal night like this. And someone suggested we should catch a midnight movie. And so in a flash we go. (ok i think we did do some form of planning) A bunch of us got into our car and just went to Jusco to watch Snakes on the Plane. The show was about snakes... on a plane.... Okay, I will comment no further.

But as we took our seat in the cineplex, I got a message that my mom was being rushed to the hospital. Allergy reaction from insect bite that got her entire body swollen and face slightly disfigured (according to my dad). It was already after midnite and my sister was home alone. First thing that came to my mind was whether I should leave the cinema immediately. (show had just begun) But wait, Andrew drove. I could borrow his car.... Yeah right, like that will happen. He would drive me home if I ask right? It would be unfair.... my thoughts were running away. SMS and calls of updates came throughout the movie. What else could I do but pray? At least my mom was with my dad and at the hospital.

By the time the credits started rolling, a final sms came in to say that mom was well and back home. Mom was brought in in the nick of time. God is faithful to help us in our times of need.

And Yes. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEOH SU-ANN !! What do you want for your birthday?

Church Camp 2006

They say pictures tell a better tale. However I'm not thoroughly happy with this year's collection of pictures (for story telling that is).

This year we went to Malacce Watercity Resort. At first sight (and thru the lense of Rachel's camera), the place is beautiful. Surrounded with water everywhere and interesting facilities, it seems like too much of a deal. However, with a weather like our's, a bad hotel chef and leaking roof, suddenly it doenst seem very attractive anymore.

But besides that we had our fun. The activities organized were good. And when church people gather, you can gurantee some fun, crazy, loud fellowship. Whatever the age, it never fails to attract attention. I guess what I'm proud to say is that wherever we go (Christian groups, that is), we are able to have clean, crazy times. People wonder, some stare... but I guess it's just part of having that joy in us.

The most defining moments in any camp (in my opinion) is what happens at the altar. That's what the camp is for, isn't it? The get a fresh anointing, to receive a touch from God, to repent and make things right in our lives, to seek God for guidance, to be challenged and encouraged. And my favourite pictures are those of people in worship. To see the nation on its knees, in worship. I love to stand at the altar and just watch people pray. It touches a deep part of my soul. I love most to see children and youth in deep worship and tears. It's a most awesome sight.

But I guess you cant really tell the story of the whole camp. Different people will have different stories to tell. And to really know, well, you got to be there. But one of the most memorable moments, i'm sure, for everyone, would have been the impromptu dance. Check it out, by clicking HERE

For more pictures, click here. For even more pictures than that (plus video), buy the CD from church.

Not My Own

As I was sitting there listening to Rev. Mike Watson (from UK, and he speaks indonesian fluently) share about the beatitudes, he said somethings that struck my chord. You know how some things you already knew but somehow never really KNOW. It's not like I don't know, but at the same time, I never sensed it so real before.

You know how experience can teach you? I learnt two things this camp. (I mean two things that i'm about to share) The first is of my own sensitive nature. I could go blaming everything else in the world, but the problem lies first with myself. The side of me I'm not proud to own to still exist in me. It has lied dormant for a long time now. I don't want to hurt someone I love yet that seemed to have been the case. Lord, take over me as only you can. Can't imagine how people would put up with me. I must have the greatest friends in the world around me.

The other thing was that I no longer belong to myself to be able to fancy doing what I feel like doing. I was bought with a price the day I gave my life to Jesus. What gave me the right to gripe, to complain, to disobey, to walk the other way? I'm bonded by blood. I choosed this path, this road. And I don't regret it. Why would I not want to give my life's control over to the One who made me and that will definitely see me through?

Something I wrote at camp...

Not My Own

I call You "Lord", I call You "Master",
Vowing to go to the ends of th earth;
But when You called I said 'no',
When trouble comes, away I go,
When did I forget

I am not my own,
I was bought with a price,
At the most precious of cost,
My Saviour, Redeemer,
Rescued me and made me Your own,
Now I belong to You

So many times I said 'I love You',
That I want to worship You alone;
But so often things get in the way,
And I made another, 'King',
Why did I forget

I am not my own,
I was bought with a price,
At the most precious of cost,
Emmanuel, Faithful One,
You have called me 'friend' and made me Yours,
Now I belong to You

I stand at the altar and I cry,
I hold hands and I pray,
Yet my heart was far away,
My thoughts turned to another,
Again I forget

I am not my own,
I was bought with a price,
At the most precious of cost,
My Help, My Comfort,
Holy Spirit take over keep me for You,
Cos' now I belong to You

Cos I choose to follow You
I desire to know You more
Cos I choose to honour You
And I know I am Yours...

And another one... (on one of those writing streaks)

You Love Me Still

Yet You love me still
You took my place on the cross
Though You know what I am inside
You love me still
No matter what I do or say
I will always have Your love

You love me
What more will I need?
You love me
What more do I seek?
And You love me
What more can I say?
But You love me
It's never gonna change
That You love me
So I give You all I am
Cos You love me
Hear me sing it now...